What's the opposite of nostalgia? A paralysing fear of the past? Chrono-nausea? Whatever it is, experience it while watching this video, a depressing strip mall beeper store advert with a babbling, incoherent little girl. I don't miss you anymore, 90s!
Mickey the Beeper King, who terrorised Indianapolis in the 90s, probably spent less on his ads than he was charing for his $21.09 (£13.50) beepers (69 cents extra for voicemail!). Going with the extreme self-humiliation approach can work, but bringing in the mumbling girl? Is that his daughter? Did he find her on the street, wandering around in a cowgirl costume? Both? I wonder what happened to ol' Mickey... someone should page him. Just kidding! He's probably dead. [Buzzfeed]