There aren't many things more dull than watching the proverbial paint dry -- so why not turn it into an endurance competition? Watching paint dry will be the everyman's sport; weedy, short, fat or just plain inferior, it will matter not as long as you can fix your gaze and stay the distance.
To enter, all you have to do is snap a photo of yourself starring whole-heartedly at paint drying to Local Traders and admit to them your longest mind-numbing stare time. You'll also have to include you favourite paint colour with your entry -- I'm partial to a nice rose white myself -- along with why you love the colour so.
The judges will pick six of the finest paint-watchers to battle it out in a winner takes all, no holds barred, stare-off-athon with a wall of paint. The winner will be crowned the World Paint Watching Champion, and if that wasn't enough, claim themselves an iPad. Get those entries in folks -- the British reputation is at stake.
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