Apple’s just been awarded a swath of patents in the US for so called “smart garments”. It seems to want to turn the clothes on your back into sensors to keep an eye on you.  There’s also a patent in there for telling you when your clothes have worn out, just not when you stink and they need a wash, unfortunately.

The patents go beyond the original virtual trainer Nike + iPod stuff though, with the proposed ability to monitor a person’s running profile or style, or even monitor people’s stats going through endurance events. Cross-country skiing, out-door swimming, and in-line skiing are all specifically mentioned.

I’m picturing a new line of Apple-branded lycra running garb; Apple ski boots and skates, and even an Apple headband, so Cupertino can know precisely what you’re thinking – they’ll be no escaping the white and shiny then. [USPTO via Patently Apple]