This Fake Pokemon App That Doesn't Even Work Is the Dumbest Thing to Ever Happen to the App Store

By Casey Chan on at

A fake, completely unofficial and totally illegal port of Pokemon popped up on the App Store the other day and has been blazing through the App Store, even reaching the height of #2 in Top Paid apps. The problem? It doesn't even work.

That's just the first part of it. If you want to dig deeper, this is further proof of how Apple's app reviewing process still hasn't figured itself out yet. It's been three years, Apple. Come on. Here's a tell tale sign that the Pokemon app was going to cause problems: it wasn't even made by Nintendo but instead some guy named Daniel Burford. I'm pretty sure if Nintendo ever decides to release games for iOS, the whole world will know about it and it'll definitely be made by Nintendo. So if a ridiculously popular game is made by Mister Joe Random App Developer, that probably means it's not the real deal. Don't let it in. Simple.

Okay, maybe Apple missed the part that this Pokemon port wasn't made by Nintendo. MAYBE. Whatever. But did they really miss the fact that THE APP DOESN'T EVEN WORK? Seriously. Kif, our intrepid intern, dived in and bought the app only to realise the app just crashes every time you start it (don't worry, we paid him back!). And 1500 reviews in the App Store say the exact same thing. The app doesn't work. The app is a scam. This isn't real. I want my 69p back. I could've bought chicken nuggets. And so on and so on. Apps that don't work? Don't let it in. Simple.

And finally! People who have downloaded this app (you're in this boat too Kif), we need to talk. I know what you were thinking. Pokemon! Pikachu! 69p? Buy. And I know that the app was only a small price but next time, read the reviews on how an app works before you send this fake ass, illegal port of Pokemon all the way to #2 in the Top Paids list. Congratulations Kif and friends! You've just paid for Joe Random App Developer's cash bath. If the reviews for an app point to overwhelming sucktitude? Don't buy it. Simple. Or alternatively, why doesn't Apple have an App Store return/refund/trial policy again? [iTunes via Ars Technica]