Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

By Mat Honan on at

Do you hate reading as much as we do? It's so frustrating to have to use language made from signifiers placed together in a grammatically correct fashion!

Most of the new iPad reviews drone on and on for hundreds or thousands of words, pouring over specs and details and stuff. Too much reading! And, like, cutting into TV time. So we made it better.

We fixed curated the reviews from all the top pubs by jacking them into Wordle and turning all that cumbersome text into snack-sized word clouds that give greater prominence to frequently used words. Now you won't have to learn to read! We also took out the words "new" "Apple" and "iPad" because otherwise those three words dominated all of the reviews (aside from Jim Dalrymple's in The Loop, kudos Jim, rub that beard for me) to such an extent that everything else is nonsense. Finally, we summarised the review for you below each word cloud.

There! Let's go huff some petrol!

1. The Verge
Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

New iPad really like!


2. TechCrunch
Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

New iPad amazing fast!


3. Wall Street Journal
Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

New iPad display improved!


4. The Loop
Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

New iPad like read good!


5. Macworld
Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

Third-Generation iPad just display!


6. Daring Fireball
Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

New iPad like battery display!


7. The New York Times
Easy-fied iPad Reviews For Very Stupid People

New iPad screen better!


Why yes, that was a Suck.com reference, you old-timer, you.