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Do you hate reading as much as we do? It’s so frustrating to have to use language made from signifiers placed together in a grammatically correct fashion!
Most of the new iPad reviews drone on and on for hundreds or thousands of words, pouring over specs and details and stuff. Too much reading! And, like, cutting into TV time. So we made it better.
We fixed curated the reviews from all the top pubs by jacking them into Wordle and turning all that cumbersome text into snack-sized word clouds that give greater prominence to frequently used words. Now you won’t have to learn to read!† We also took out the words “new” “Apple” and “iPad” because otherwise those three words dominated all of the reviews (aside from Jim Dalrymple’s in The Loop, kudos Jim, rub that beard for me) to such an extent that everything else is nonsense. Finally, we summarised the review for you below each word cloud.
There! Let’s go huff some petrol!
1. The Verge
New iPad really like!
2. TechCrunch
New iPad amazing fast!
New iPad display improved!
4. The Loop
New iPad like read good!
5. Macworld
Third-Generation iPad just display!
New iPad like battery display!
New iPad screen better!
† Why yes, that was a Suck.com reference, you old-timer, you.
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I like this, I don’t have to read the Apple hype reporting to see that it’s basically a iPad2 with a new screen..
and bigger battery.
And the usual hype.
And more Ram
And LTE.
And a partridge in a pear tree.
What does that mean in the UK? Buying something that’s of no use for 12+ months…
You seem to have missed the joke.
Good luck with that…
I wonder how many iPad3 owners know that it won’t ever work on UK 4G networks when they arrive next year….
http://www.computeractive.co.uk/ca/news/2161458/apple-ipad-wont-4g-lte-comes-uk
In short, the 4G chipset they paid good money for is as useful as Anne Franke’s Drumkit..
To drive that beefier CPU/GPU needed to drive that bigger screen… Doesn’t that mean it’s the same as before, just heavier…
I’m not an Apple lover. Don’t own an iPhone, have no use for an iPad or any tablet, I’m still using an original 40gb 3rd Gen iPod Dock Connector from 2003! (on it’s 3rd battery) My wife on the other hand, she owns the lot. Apple computer, laptop, phone, iPad. Xmas and Birthdays are pretty easy for me. I thank Apple for that. This is why Apple have done well. They are probably the first company to make tech that appeals to women. I was just pointing out that the screen is not the only thing that has changed.
Because it’s not tech, it’s fashion statements…
Owning Apple is not about owning a tablet, it’s about the brand statement, like how chavs wear burburry..
True – but brands are what everything is about. Look at your devotion to the PS3. Because you love the PS3 it makes you more likely to try other Sony goods. It’s a fact that the brandsters know and rely on. There is no denying that what Apple/Ive’s has done for tech design has changed the way the industry looks at products. This is why I would like to see Ive’s design other things, just to see what he really can do.
Devotion to the PS3?
Sure I have a PS3, but i’m not “devoted to it”. My telly is not Sony (and I wouldn’t ever buy a Bravia personally), in fact only a small percentage of my stuff is Sony.
Brand loyalty sucks, shouldn’t people buy the BEST, not the MOST POPULAR? The problem is when someone like Microsoft or Apple try to get brand loyaly one from business line to another through content lock in.
Not devoted? you could have fooled me – nevermind, that’s beside the point. Plus, I never actually said you own a Sony TV – or anyhitng else Sony – those are your words. I said, you are more likely to buy same brand products, if you own something you like by that brand. Apple are no exception