Still pumping your watermelons full of vodka? What is this, primary school? You're in the real world now, it's time for an adult solution to your fruity adult beverage storage needs. Maybe one that even involves a spigot.
The instructions for the Watermelon Keg come from none other than the National Watermelon Promotion Board—which is an actual thing, apparently. Essentially you slice off a thin layer from the bottom end, slice open the top, scoop out the meat (or liquefy with booze), and jam a spigot in the front.
What would be really awesome is if you got a bunch of those cube melons they sell in Japan, stack them vertically and run tubing from the top melon to the bottom one (which would hold the spigot). Put a couple of umbrellas in that bad boy and you are set for the luau. [Watermelon.org via Neatorama]