Kat Hannaford - 

I kind of love it when companies try and “get down with the kids” by releasing rap videos (or in Intel’s case, flippin’ weird dancing tiger videos.) Case in point: that unintentionally awkward Windows Phone white girl rap. Qualcomm signed up San Diego hip-hop team Parker and the Numberman for this week’s effort, which aims to show punters how to improve their relationship…y’know, by using a phone with Snapdragon innards.

I’m going to let the video do the talking, but if you need any help decoding the lyrics, they’re down below. After you’ve given it a spin (and thoroughly got the line “shoulda got a Snapdragon…” stuck in your head), let me know what you think below. [YouTube]

Ok…. som’in some’in

My girlfriend’s mad at the whirlwind that this tour life has become
So I call each night just to say goodnight and to check in once I’m done
But last night, right, my speakerphone’s like
‘Girl you’re my lady, my supersexy baby, and I miss you like every single night.’
But she hears ‘there’s a lady, who said I had her baby, cuz I go out almost every single night’

My oh my, my speakerphone lies!
Shoulda got a Snapdragon…
“you need better noise suppression, son…”

Why oh Why like no Comply
Shoulda got a Snapragon…
“Fluence Pro, homee’”

 

She’s sittin’ in the front row, says she’ll text her numbers later
Zoom into my room I hop into the elevator
I smell like Bulgari my swagger’s charmin’
I smile with a shine like a new Ferrari
But I went to check my messages, my phone was dead
Ahhhh!! Alone Again….

Why oh why did my phone just die?
I wish my phone had a better battery life
Ohh, man, you shoulda gotta snapdragon

Man, you Shoulda got a snapdragon..
Battery Low
Yo you gotta get a new phone man
Shoulda shoulda got a snapdragon
It’s like the 80’s … did that come with leg warmers?
Processor slow
Shoulda got a snapdragon
Can you even shoot video w that thing?
Battery Looooowwwwww…

OK, a date at 8 with a perfect 10
Oh wait I’m late for the destination
GPS to the right location
But the NY Buildings are Super high
They block my signal, no clear sky
My or my, I can just die
I’ve got to find that girl so fly
Instead I sit, alone again
Shoulda got a snapdragon

My GPS won’t activate
So my smartphone can’t navigate
She said she’d wait
but now its late
Shoulda got a snapdragon

Hello? Yo I can barely hear you man…

Now when I dream of fairy tales I think of me and Shauna
And all the crazy things we did when we was back in college
She’d pull out her phone and record all the fun we had
We’d post them online but all our friends would just be mad
Light, Camera, Actions, but Video’s laggin
The frames were draggin, the scenes were saggin
She sent me packin, I need to get back in
I need to get a phone with Zero Shutter Laggin
I need to get a Snapdragon
I wish I had a Snapdragon
Damn! Shoulda Shoulda got a snapdragon!

I hear you can capture 3D Stereoscopic Video…imagine that!