19 
It’s almost time for kids to start getting their back-to-school gear in order, and even though this fantastic laser-engraved wooden machete ruler will most certainly be instantly confiscated by a teacher, you still need to send your children to school prepared for anything.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a pop quiz that involves measuring shapes, or the chance their fellow students have all turned into brain-hungry zombies. The last thing you want is to be chastised at the next parent-teacher meeting for not properly equipping your young’n. So for just £13 this 12-inch ruler will have them prepared for almost any perdicament. Although, like my father always said, “if it’s a problem that can be solved by swinging a giant blade, it’s not a problem.” That man solved a lot of problems before the FBI finally caught up with him.
How We Measure the Universe Without Intergalactic Rulers
Watch This Adorable Horde of Intelligent Swarm Robots Play Piano
Feeeeeet…..
“chance their fellow students have all turned into brain-hungry zombies”
there are so many jokes about modern society… where to begin?
Once again Gizmodo fails to take shipping into account, which brings the total price up to £20. Also this would likely be classed as an offensive weapon and end up with a lot of arrested school children.
I want one! But if it’s a 30cm ruler it’s gonna look more like a sword shaped knife
its in inches so wouldnt be any use in a civilised country anyway