17-year-old Justin Bieber look-alike Austin Wierschke, of Rhinelander, Wisconsin (and a native of the United Kingdom?), is £32,000 richer today—thanks to his speedy-quick thumbs and unfailingly accurate dexterity. He's a two-time prize-winning SMS champion, ladies and gents, the fastest in our great nation.
A noble talent undeniably deserving of large piles of cash. The eight-round competition, held in NYC's Times Square, tested for three factors: speed, accuracy, and dexterity. All 11 competitors were given extra challenges, like texting while blindfolded, or texting with their hands behind their back.
Is this almost more ridiculous a contest than a kiddie beauty pageant? I don't know! Here's a better question: What will Austin do with his prize money? Surely this kid has an unlimited text plan on his phone contract, and that only accounts for teensy fraction of the loot.
A quick shuffle through his Twitter count pulled up this glowing example of Austin's prize-worthy (NSFW) texting skillz. Artfully crafted emoji, Austin, A+!