Goodbye America! I'm moving to the UK, where I will eat my weight in chocolate. Coincidentally, Nestle's just kicked off a campaign where it's embedding GPS trackers in chocolate bars. If you unwrap one of six winning sweets, they'll find you within 24 hours and award you £10,000 and the rights to legally change your name to Charlie Bucket.
The contest has a creepy name ("We Will Find You," normally said by the TV Licensing company or malicious exes), but it's actually a fantastic and fun way to get people to stuff their faces with junk. I suggest buying a wheelbarrow full of KitKat 4 Finger, KitKat Chunky, Aero Peppermint Mediums, and Yorkie bars immediately to improve your odds. Just save some for me. [PSFK]