Starving, I was, after a horrendously long morning where every attempt at getting some food down my gullet was scuppered by chance. The timing was so bad, that I decided to do an experiment.
“Hey Kim,” I said, turning to the officer in the passenger seat. “Watch this. I know there’s a cafe just around the corner. If I stop outside it, there’s going to be an I-grade coming in”.
She laughed, but took the bet.
“Right, well, if we get a call in the next one minute, I’ll buy you lunch when we finally get there today.”
Of course, sod’s law struck nearly immediately, and as soon as I pulled up outside the cafe, our radios crackled into life.
“We’ve just had a call from a neighbour stating that they heard shouting that a man was going to beat someone to death. The address is known for violent domestic incidents.”
I looked over at Kim and raised an eyebrow. She looked back and shrugged.
“Lunch is on me”, she said, and grabbed the radio. “Show two-four to your last”, she said, and reached for the in-car computer display to read the details that were being beamed over to us.
It wasn’t until four hours, and a pretty straight-forward domestic arrest later that I was able to sag down in a chair in the mess hall in the police station. Kim was finishing up the paperwork related to the arrest, but since I wasn’t the arresting officer, my notes were far quicker. I did want to help her, but she waved me off and sent me to get us some food. Since the new shift had gone on duty, I finally sat with a fighting chance of actually being able to eat the sandwich I had purchased.
As I was musing whether I wanted the meat-and-cheese sandwich or the egg-and-cress sandwich first, I was struck with an utter inability to decide. Funny; not four hours before, it had taken me less than a fraction of a blink of an eye to decide to take a door down, but now, somehow, the eternal cress-or-ham question seemed unovercomeable. I was in full realisation that what I was doing was ludicrous, but decided to open both packages, smell both of them, and then decide which one to eat first.
Suddenly, something from the conversation behind me made my ears twitch. Were I a dog, my ears would be pointing backwards, without a doubt.
“I really like what he’s doing, though,” one voice said.
“What was his name, you said?” the other said.
“Dee-lito or something,” said the first.
“Huh. Interesting. How often does he write?”
“Most weeks.”
“I need to look it up, I guess. Gizmodo, you say?”
“Yeah, the UK one. You know what’s even weirder, though? I googled him, to see if there was any more info about who he might be.”
“Did you find anything?”
“Well, I do recognise a lot of the places, but the weird thing is, there was a story a while back. Do you remember I had to deal with that case with the mother, where the kid had died, and she refused to believe it?”
“What, the one where she was carrying the dead baby around?”
“Yeah, man.”
“Well, in one of the stories, he writes up that exact story, but as if it happened to him.”
“Cheeky fucker!”
“Tell you what, though, it’s better than I would have been able to tell it. The reason I realised it was what happened to me, is that he included Jake.”
“Oh shit, yeah — he got sliced in the arm, didn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. Do you think he works with us?”
I was chewing on my sandwich without tasting a thing. Here I was, hearing them talk about me, right behind me. I didn’t recognise the voices, but I did, of course, know the officer whose story I had re-told. He is on a different team than me, but we had been on an Operation Blunt a few days after it happened, and he had told the story to all of us. It stuck with me as a perfect example of the kind of thing my readers should know about; the sort of thing that some police officers have to deal with, perhaps even struggle with mentally for a long time.
“Maybe. I guess I’ve told the story quite a few times now,” said the first officer. “And quite a few of the details had changed, but there can’t be that many instances of this happening — especially with an officer getting jabbed in the arm as well, right?”
“Yeah, I think you’re right. Ha, I really need to look him up now.”
“Oh — yes, that was what I was saying, so I googled him, and I found him on Amazon!”
“You what?”
“Yeah, he’s got a book coming out in April, apparently!”
“Oh wow. That’s mental. Definitely checking that out. Anyway, I need to get cracking, got to go see the governor about the job car I wrote off last week.”
“Shit, I completely forgot,” the officer said as they walked toward the door. “How’s your leg?”
“Fine, fine. I think I might put on a bit of a limp for the guv though,” the other officer laughed, and started dragging his leg behind him, The Usual Suspect- style. “Get some sympathy, you know?”
Their laughing echoed through the room for what seemed like days after they left.
Shit, I had been so ridiculously close to being outed. Perhaps it’s time to lie low for a while.
***
Dear readers!
The above story happened quite a while ago, and as it turned out, I wasn’t outed as being who I was. Phew!
In the meantime, however, I have had a couple of rather interesting things happening in my life. One of them involves Kim, but I can’t write about that quite yet. Another involves my work: Against all odds, I was chosen for a transfer to a different department of the Metropolitan police, where there is a tremendous opportunity. I will still be on the streets, but this time in unmarked cars, fighting a whole different kind of crime. The downside of this promotion and transfer is that my new job is a lot more sensitive (I had to go through another round of security clearance), and I won’t be able to write anything about it, which obviously means that I can’t keep writing as often as I have been.
There are still many, many stories to be told; many an anecdote I’d like to share, and there’s the matter of Kim, of course… so I’ll try to keep writing here on Giz UK on a monthly basis at least.
If you want to be notified when there’s news about the book, I’ve set up one of these mailing list things, so feel free to do whatever people do with mailing list sign-up thingies these days.
Until next time,
Matt Delito
***
Matt Delito is a pseudonym for a policeman working for the Metropolitan Police. All Notes from the Frontline are not entirely “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,” due to the sensitive nature of the business, but are all based on actual events. These days, he’s on Facebook and Twitter as well.
Matt has a book based on his Notes from the Front Line column out now – you can get it from Amazon, in paperback or on Kindle.
If you missed his previous columns on Giz UK, check them out over here.
Image credit: Police image from Shutterstock.
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Notes From the Frontline: The Password
Notes From the Frontline: Knocking
Notes From the Frontline: Stopping and Searching
Aha, that’s great news at the book and the new job, Matt. Shame about the lack of regular stories, but the book should keep us going when it drops next year. I might even pre-order if there was an e-book version – any news on this at all?
Noooo ur leaving ! :’( i feel like im being punished. i swear i wont do it again…jus dontt go !!!
Lucky you.
Imagine how things would be different if you had been outed. Hope there’s an e-book version available as I will be getting that immediately if there is.
And good luck with the new job.
Lester (and anyone else who would want an e-book copy), you have to use the link on the Amazon page to tell MD’s publisher that we want an e-book version. If we could all lobby to do this, hopefully Friday Project will stand up and deliver to our Kindles/Nexus7s/iDevices.
I want a paper copy, but only if he’s going to do a book signing. He can do it in dark glasses and a trenchcoat like Andy McNabb
Somehow given his somewhat rabid fanbase I seriously doubt that a book signing is going to happen.
Shhhh, They can have a Giz Meetup arranged around it, get the Book Publisher to pay for it.
Oh the official Giz meetup is proving more elusive than the edit button.
I wonder if it was the transfer that lead to the thing with Kim. Now they aren’t working together it would make the relationship easier. Maaybe he made the move on his last day, knowing he wouldn’t see that much, if anything of her if she rejected him.
Shame, you seem like one of the more reasonable coppers about.
Godspeed good sir, and hopefully we won’t meet during work hours!
So distraught we’ll only see you ’round these parts once a month, but I’m so thrilled about your promotion and book deal, Matt. May the force (snicker) be with you!
Oh come on Kat, if you have the never to complain about my puns after that I shall be most vexed.
The ‘never’…? Ah, for an edit button eh, the nerve of not having one vexes us all
I’ve been finding this happening a lot lately, I think it’s my age, the dementia is finally kicking in.
Force Snicker = Chocolate bar for Jedis?
Much better when they were called Force Marathon, of course.
Glad to hear your hard work has been recognised and that you got a promotion and a book publishing deal Matt. I have added the book to the wish list and asked the publisher to make it digital (my preference).
I will definitely miss your stories here. Thank you for the articles and for what you and your colleagues do on a daily basis.
Real shame the column will not be continuing in its normal regular basis. no doubt you are going to upset some extremely disappointed sycophantic followers.
Your failure to be recognised by fellow offices has always concerned me though you always think that police officers have fantastic powers of deduction, but to be fare to the guys and girls you may just cover your tracks well.
Maybe I have been watching too much Sherlock.
Stay safe good luck in new role.
Is it April 1st already… this has to be some kind of sick joke
Seriously though Matt, i look forward to your articles ever week but the promotion is excellent news. Keep us informed on the Kim situation as we’ve all been patiently waiting for it to happen
Best of luck
So that’s how it is huh? You get your fancy book deal, go to your swish parties with your canapés and your ferrero roché, leaving us here with drug dealers and sponsored posts!
Sure, you’ll be back in a month, but then it’ll be Christmas, and you’ll remember you told Jedward and Donald Trump you’d go skiing with them in Beverley Hills, and we won’t hear a peep.
Then in April or May, out of the blue you’ll just turn up on the front page, and it’ll be like you never left. You’ll tell us stories, and make us laugh, and think. But then you’ll have to leave again to oversee Michael Bay’s adaptation of ‘Confessions…’. “We understand” we’ll say. “Good luck Matt!” We’ll cry. And then we’ll refresh the page and read about the deal of the day. It sure is hard to focus on the screen with tears in your eyes.
Or when one of your eyes has an eye patch.
That’s to mop up the tears, I call it an EyePad. I even tried selling them but some patent trolls came along and shut me down…
I actually think this is the best comment I’ve ever seen on Giz UK. I’m going to print it out and stick it on my wall.
I saw your comment on the front page and am now disappointed greatly on two levels:
1)You’ve obviously failed in your duty as an editor to tie Matt into an ironclad agreement to entertain us whilst he protects us.
2)Not the best comment I’ve ever read.
(On a separate note I shall email you a few lines and photos from Star Trek London on Sunday/Monday that you can do with as you see fit)
You’re disappointed that someone else has a different opinion to yours?
I’m sorry to be the person to break this to you, but there is a high probability that this could happen again. If I may be so bold as to offer you some advice on this subject, it may be worth re-evaluating your expectations to avoid such disappointments in the future.
Indeed, some people even think the Elves at Helms Deep were a good idea
o_O
Elves at Helm’s Deep were awesome, man!
Seeing a respected editor like Kat say it was the best comment she’d ever read on Gizmodo I had high expectations which the comment in question didn’t meet in my opinion.
Thus it wasn’t the difference in opinion as such, more in the vein of disappointment as in when I go to watch a movie that was given a positive review by a reviewer I trust, only to walk out feeling I’d lost a tenner and 2 hours of my life
Hey, it’s personal opinion. It tickled me because it was funny, but also because I know “Matt” and the juxtaposition between the reality and what Doghouse said is just hilarious.
No skin off anyone’s nose, so let’s move on and go read another article or something, yes?
So… It was like the Avatar of comments? I now feel bad…
good comparison, enjoy your weekend
Well I’m glad my abandonment issues are amusing to you Kat… but cheers.
Nooooo. I love these.
Best of luck with the new position! Will be looking forwards to the book.
Hi Matt,
Good luck in the new role, sounds interesting and full of opportunity!
Going to miss the regularity of the posts but I guess you got to go with what’s good for you!
I’ll probably end up buying your book too!
All the best for the future!
I’ll miss reading the stories while I chomp through my Friday fish and chips and my desk, but maybe of both of these are cut down to once a month they’ll be even better for it!
Shame you’re going but congratulations on both developments (I guess) and good luck with the ‘New (Secret) Adventures of Matt Delito’!
you chomp through your desk?
#Fibre ?
#ThisSucks.
You know I’m not feeling that hashtag. You’ve ruined hashtagging Matt. See what happens? Oh great – now you’ve set the kids off. Just go.
Congratulations Matt on the promotion and the book, might want to be careful though. those colleagues of yours may still be reading and wont be hard for them to work out who you are now that you have told them not only that you have a new job but roughly what it involves and what you might have been involved in in the past. plus the book deal thing that is sure to get around and make you more of an easy mark to spot!
Ooh good luck in the new role Matt! Will miss the regular columns though, they make a Friday afternoon for me.
Hmmm…. *Glares around the writing room*
http://goo.gl/P7LLa
So sad to see you go Matt! You must conclude the arc about Kim now – now that there’s no shark to jump.
Ooh close shave there, can’t wait for the book anyhow.
After a fair bit of research I have tracked down Matt and I feel it is my public duty to ‘out him’
….
…
..
.
Some say, he once handcuffed the Queen and ann widdecombe together whilst at a Marquis de Sade theme party.
And
That the size of his truncheon make the ladies weep with terror
…
…
But all we know
..
is he is called
..
..
THE STIG
……………………LOL
Obviously this is good for you, but bad for us. Bittersweet right until the end!
Perhaps this is the perfect time to start my own blog from my end of the Met…
… upset ….just very……………….upset