14 
Come on, Apple. I don’t care about your iPhone 5 camera’s purple flare problem. If Prince can live with it, so can I. And I don’t give a damn about its paint chipping off either. Or your dreadful maps, for that matter. Getting lost is fun. I can live with all the crap you can throw at me except this. F*cking. Shit.*
Instead of being optically centred, the 1 in the Calendar icon is still geometrically centred. It just looks wrong. It looks amateurish. Where did all that legendary Apple love for typography and attention to detail go? Inside Scott Forstall’s leather underpants, that’s where. It’s in there, stuck to his pubic hair, smelling of sweaty cowboy balls.
But I digress. The fact is that I just can’t fathom why Apple hasn’t fixed the stupid centering yet.
After all, they fixed the horrible weekday name placement in the app itself after we whined about it for months. So why not this one? Christ, it’s probably just one line of code. You know, like: # import <objc/TypographyThatDoesNotSuck.h>
Even the OS X team got this right. Please examine the number 1 placement in the Calendar app’s dock icon. It’s optically centred and it looks great:
But no, in iOS 6 it’s still screwed. Why? Because somebody doesn’t give a damn. “Thank you for whining, stupid!” is what Phil Schiller is laughing right now. My aneurysm is going to explode. Looking at the calendar icon in this pixel-perfect, beautiful Retina screen is like having a white hot scalpel pinching through my eye until it reaches the back of my skull.
Will Apple ever fix this? Will it issue an iPhone recall? Will it fix this in the even more magical and awesomerer iPhone 6? Will Apple support send out emails saying that we are looking at the screen in the wrong way? Will Tim Cook argue that all phones have the 1 incorrectly centred? Perhaps apologise? Will Apple give us transparent vinyl overlays with a correctly aligned 1 to place over the iPhone every first day of the month? Would Apple’s unofficial spokespeople say that Android’s number 1 sucks so much that it actually looks like the letter F? F for fuck you?
Seriously, I’m not even bloody joking here. It’s not the camera, the paint or the maps. This 1 centre alignment issue will kill this phone forever for me. For. EVER.
* Well, this and Find My Friends’ leather stitching.
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I never thought I’d see the day when Jesus would say that the iPhone only “May” be the best phone in the universe. Worrying times for Apple.
Haha!
Well, the thing is, that’s not the right kind of “may”.
Consider this:
“I may be awesome, I’m not sure”
to
“I may be awesome, but I am still going to die”.
In the first sentence, the may expresses a possibility. In the second sentence, it only expresses a condition.
So no, Apple may continue without worrying. (see what I did there?)
But if he meant it in the second sense they why not say “The iPhone 5 Is the Best Phone In the Universe, but Its Calendar Icon Still Sucks” this is perfectly good English and removes any doubt as to the intended meaning.
Well, it’s a little different I suppose.
“Darrell, you may be smart, but I can still beat you in an arm wrestle”
vs
“Darrell, you are smart, but I can still beat you in an arm wrestle”
I can’t explain the difference grammatically because I’m not a linguist, but there I’m sure there must a definable difference in these sentences.
Anyway, this may be an interesting conversation (it is) but I may (possibly) get fired if I don’t do some work.
While I agree that I am smart WTF makes you think you can beat me in an arm wrestle.:-)
The flunitrazepam I put in your drink
Rohypnol? Thanks to my long term dealings with Flynndean I have built up a resistance to this now.
Actually, I AM awesome but I CANNOT beat anyone in an arm wrestle!
Allow me…
The word “may” in Jesus’ sentence functions as a modal auxiliary verb. The word class includes “might”, “should”, “could” etc. and are used to remove the sense of action from the main or lexical verb, creating action that exists purely at the level of future potential. Specifically in the sentence here and in your examples, I believe it introduces a doubt in the allotted quality which is explained and impounded with the later antithesis.
Why thank you. Although I think you just contradicted my hypothesis. I thought that, in this case, the “may” wasn’t introducing a doubt in this.
The way I see it (and this is interpretation, not fact) is that the first statement has a lesser impact due to the additional verb. The quirk in how Diaz wrote it, however, is the hyperbole in the first statement; but again, it essentially inspires doubt.
It’s not often I get to talk about modal auxiliary verbs, so excuse me if this is boring. ahaha.
I wonder if he has hit the bottle, this rant doesn’t seem to have the same edge as his normal ones. Do you feel tired Mr Diaz?
You spelt ‘Bottom’ wrong
First world issue this one.
It’s that time of the year again, when Jesus moans about number 1 not being centred. Which actually is. But he doesn’t like it centred. Soooo… he wants it not centred. Even though he says he wants it centred. Which it is.
you mean that time of the month…
No, I mean that time of the year. Firstly, Jesus is a man. I think. Secondly, he moans about this “problem” every time there’s a new major version of iOS, which is once a year. I think.
Any stand up comic would have been proud of this line…
“I don’t care about your iPhone 5 camera’s purple flare problem. If Prince can live with it, so can I.”
10 out of 10 Jesus.
I think Tim Cook has read Jesus’ articles and vetoed the calendar icon change:
Just
To
Piss
Him
Off.
I’d like to call to order this meeting of Pedantics Anonymous.
Seriously though, is this what amounts to “first world problems”?
Never mind famine or drought or disease, how about the impending calamity that is a misaligned number on an icon!
Could not agree more….this is such a pointless issue, it took me a good hard look to see the ‘problem’!
actually the 1 in the dock isnt right either. the page has perspective but the text doesnt.
i guess its using photoshop. its often way out when centring text unless you convert it to raster image.
Neither is the number 7 correct on the clock icon, it needs to be very slightly anticlockwise from where it is now.
“One does not simply ignore a Diaz post”
Good morning everyone!
Well it is a featured post at the top of the page, it’s kinda hard to ignore.
Surprised he had time to write this really, what with having to scrub his hands 20 times in a row and line up all the cans in his cupboard according to barcode checksum digit
I agree with the sentiment of the article, The 1 should be optically centered. But its not something i’ve ever noticed before. Thanks for pointing something out that will now annoy me.
Considering the size of these icons I would say that this is a non issue that Apple wouldn’t waste their time on. It was not a surprise to see that this article was posted by Jesus Diaz.
That’s not iOS6. The clock hands aren’t shaped like arrows on iOS6.
Good point, they are Swiss clock patent infringing circles as per a recent article.
Yeah I noticed that. They must’ve changed it because it appears as if the arrow isn’t pointing right at the middle of the three.
This is like when you’re dropping off in bed and your wife says ‘Do you hear that noise?’ then for the next three hours you’re eyeballs wide staring at the ceiling not being able to focus on anything but the noise that you previously hadn’t even noticed.
Rather than get on one, why doesn’t he just change the icons or download a new calendar widget? Problem solved in a few minutes.
Can you do that on iOS?
No.
I get it.
Just don’t use your iPhone on once a month. Or jailbreak an replace the image?
Jesus Jesus, stop being so fucking pedantic! if it annoys you that much (along with leather bound apps), get a different OS! better yet, stop writing non-articles.
seriously Jesus? do you really waste gizmodo resources to write this rubbish? On a daily use I personally really don’t notice/give-a-damn about the 1 not being aligned, who bloody cares! Get a real job please.
Annoyed that I not only gave this another page view, but that I (like everyone else) felt the need to comment on it.
Oh.
I seriously stared at the image for about two minutes, did not see the difference between the two ’1′s before reading the article then going pfffft….. Jesus your world must be so perfect that you worry about THAT!
And – the 1 on the OS X image is even worse, but that doesn’t bother you? I think you, Mr. Diaz are some form of AI experiment – has anyone actually met him IRL?
I, honestly, really quite like these rants. Although I don’t share his abject horror about things not quite being in the centre, I find them amusing to read. Especially when they’re a bit light hearted. It’s good that people care about these things, it keeps everyone in check. Imagine if the home button wasn’t in the centre — now that would annoy the hell out of me.
I think most people have missed the fact that Diaz has written this article tongue firmly in cheek..
But which cheek.
Left
Yeah. I guess it’s just that his brand of humour doesn’t translate always.
Tell me about it.
I think those of us who have been around a while are getting used to Jesus’ odd rants. I seriously doubt that he cares that much about this, but given the huge number of stories about Apple’s attention to detail and perfectionism it is surprising this hasn’t been fixed.
Also, did this appear on the US site yesterday? It seems odd to be complaining about this issue the day after everyone with iOS could see it for themselves.
If I was an iPhone user I would care more about the purple camera or the paint issue then whether or not a icon is centred correctly…
I have discovered a simple 5 step solution to this problem:
1. Get a hammer.
2. Rapidly hit iPhone 5 with hammer till it is smashed to pieces.
3. Put pieces in bin.
4. Buy a real smartphone.
5. Be amazed at how all the iPhone 5 issues are solved and to can customise the device to your hearts desire. Done.
Go on then, what 100% perfect phone do you have?
All the major phone makers have issues with each release, each design has its pitfalls.
Android is not overly customisable and if an app had an icon where the first number was slightly off centre you would still have no real way of sorting in on android.
Not that I have an iPhone 5 but I’m getting tired of all the fan boys on here.
What makes a real smart phone? Im sure experts all over the world will agree its the centring of a number on an icon what will appear for 12 days a year.
Dumb & Ass
Well, you could probably use an app to create a shortcut icon for the offending app and change the icon to a corrected one or something completely different.
For example, I changed my phone icon to the contacts icon because I don’t really like the way the phone icon doesn’t quite balance my home screen visually.
Now that’s home screen aesthetic dedication!
Currently waitin, have a Sony Xperia to tide me over till the Note II price drops.
I agree each smartphone has a few minor issues, but the iPhone 5 has a number of big ones, the ’1′ in the calendar isn’t one of them.
Android is overly customisable, that is the whole frigging point of it. Android has launchers and widgets, you don’t like the way one works you get another, or find a customising version. I personal like a black minimal theme, and I found SiMi Clock app that allows me to format the date and time to my heart’s content – perfect. Once I upgrade I can take my own personal theme onto any new device.
What makes a real smartphone? Firstly it needs to be open, a closed system isn’t that smart. Then it needs to be able to adapt and adopt any layout the user requires. Next you need a large screen for media. Also a SD card slot and HDMI is also smart. A pressure stylus is really smart. A camera without fringing is good, as is an internal maps app that works, also a smartphone that doesn’t flake and scratch easy is fairly smart. A really smart thing is for a smartphone to be hard-wired to the on-line services I use everyday, if only someone did such a phone? Oh wait, they already do.
I don’t think it is smart to have a phone whose only interface is what some tosser of a corporate designer decides would be good for me, it isn’t. My phone interface is a reflection and extension of me, and not an extension or reflection of Google or Apple. The point here is as a fan of anything my phone can be made to state that, it is a form of expression, smart.
Smart & Phone.
I’m amazed the BBC’s own Apple obsessed Rory Cellan-Jones isn’t all over this end of world story like a fly on… The metaphor is lost on for the moment…
I’ve remembered!!! It’s site!!! Just stick an ‘h’ in there…
fixed it
https://www.dropbox.com/s/75gl8goa87wspvh/calendericon.jpg
Nice. I prefer that. If Diaz sees it, he’ll shit his pants though.
hopefully it will send him into a murderous rage and that’s the last we will hear from him
Guys! Wake up! This article is just a decoy to the more important flaws of iPhone 5.
“I can take the maps and the scratches but not the positioning of the number 1?”. Really? It’s like I cant take the face that my new expensive car scratches it’s back when it rains and has a bad gps, but the positioning of the panel letters just infuriates me!
Sorry, a lot of errors in the previous post. Please read the last sentence as “I can live with the fact that my new expensive car scratches it’s back when it rains and has a bad gps, but the positioning of the panel letters just infuriates me!”
How did you even realise that? Your life must be so empty.
Ermmmm
number 1: There’s no “may” about it…in fact there’s no anything about it. It’s not even remotely anywhere NEAR being the best phone in the universe
Number b: Those two pictures at the top are the same…..
Oh look, another trash talking, foul-mouthed non-article from Gizmodo’s biggest douchebag, Jesus Diaz. Cue Kat’s rant telling me that this is the most viewed and most important article on all of Gizmodo and that if I don’t like it I can take a hike.
The trick Mr.Diaz, is not minding that it exists !
And you really gotta stop looking your phone like a wet girl friend !!. Eyes Burn !
wow jesus, your a first class tool.
*you’re