Pheed is the latest social network start up to roll off the factory line, promising to change our internet lives (or something). It combines aspects of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr (among others), and coats itself in a celebrity-endorsed sheen. So what is Pheed? Long story short, it’s a shitshow.

Pheed is nothing more and nothing less than a social network. You sign up, you follow people, people follow you. Nothing too groundbreaking here.

In an interview with Fast Company, Pheed’s founder lamented that Instagram was too simple. So he and his team made a Frankenstein product that follows the same basic conceptual structure of Instagram, but adds more shareable elements.

Like Twitter and Tumblr, Pheed allows you to like, dislike, and bookmark things from other users. Unlike Twitter, however, Pheed allows you to directly comment on anything and everything any other user posts, adding hashtags galore along the way. As you might imagine, that gets messy.

The master vision for Pheed is that celebrities will begin using the network, and users can subscribe to their feed for a premium, and deliver must-have exclusive content. Musicians could post new tracks. Actors could post side vids. But will that actually happen? Maybe. Will it actually work? Probably not. Anything worth seeing will eventually make its way outside the network, and it’s hard to imagine Pheed exclusives being anything but fluffy nonsense anyways.

Pheed mostly looks like a streamlined version of Facebook (which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s all that streamlined), surrounded by a whole lot of marketing hype. Oh and it will post garbled tweets when you update your Pheed, which is just, ugh. No thank you.

In summary: Pheed is a cynical cash-grab that it’s unlikely you’ll join, much less hear about ever again.