Gents, Your Online Chat-Ups Make Me Ashamed

By Chris Mills on at

Girls, if you're still a believer that you might just find your perfect match on a dating site, look away now. Inspired by a friend's (doomed) attempt at online matchmaking, Mandatory's Rob Fee created the world's worst-written/funniest fake profile, and let the messages roll in. Read on for attempts at flirting barely worthy of a porn-script writer.

The first part in his desperate-idiot-lure was to set up a fake profile on OKCupid, using a cute (but "not slutty") female friend's photo. The real creativity came in the bio though, which was so badly written, flippant, ditsy, and littered with typos that you would assume any sane person capable of signing up to OKCupid in the world wouldn't go near it. As Fee said:

"I wanted to make this so idiotic and unappealing that no one in their right mind would show interest in this girl," Fee says. "If you are hitting on her after reading her profile you have no interest in anything intellectual whatsoever."

Prize for worst part (for me at least) goes to the Katy Perry quote, "A lot of preple go threw every day like plastick bags (katy perry) but I live them to teh fullest!" (sic); though the casual racism in the self-summary is a close second.

Despite all this, within 6 hours of putting the profile up, Rob/Tara_IceAge4 had over 400 views and 39 messages. This is where the fun really began. When he/she got a message from a prospective suitor, Rob replied with the sort of lines that should have any self-respecting person running for the hills... stuff like replying to "How are you doing?" with "I had horrible diarreh (sic) earlier from all the halloween candy lmao but i'm fine now".

I'll let you browse through the whole gallery of horrors (warning: it gets quite NSFW towards the bottom), but suffice to say, if you can openly solicit prostitution on dating sites, and not have the guys you're talking to run away in horror (and actually try and bid you up), then it's safe to say you're unlikely to find you're soulmate on there. [Mandatory]