I wasn’t supposed to be here today. Growing up, I was obsessed with dinosaurs and dreamed of becoming a paleontologist—the thought of sifting through heaps of stone and soil was far more enticing than fighting fires or learning Ninjutsu, my two fallback careers. But then Calvin’s dad went and blew my mind.
“How is that possible? Is it even possible,” I asked myself. And my parents. And my teachers. But nobody could produce a sufficient explanation as to how two concentric circles could travel two distances in the same time, at the same speed—at least, not in a way that a second-grader could understand. And, this being 1989, I couldn’t Google it. Drastic measures—and sacrificial electronics—would be necessary.
My father’s old Kenwood LP player had sat, practically unused, in its hutch in the dining room for as long as I could remember. In my mind at least, that totally designated it fair game for disassembly in the name of science. I dutifully collected the tools I would need—a ball peen hammer, flat and Phillips screwdrivers, hack saw, and slip-jaw wrench—from the tool box, set the turntable on the dining room table, and went to town stripping away components in search of their wax-spinning secrets.
I made it through all of two exterior screws and the needle holder before my parents interrupted the operation. I couldn’t sit for three days afterward, and I am still banned from even touching the stereo cabinet in my parents’ house 23 years later. But that seminal investigation changed the course of my life. I no longer cared for piecing together the remains of ancient animals like a macabre jigsaw puzzle. I wanted to discover how the modern world worked—how a menagerie of gears, drives, pulleys, and speakers could reproduce Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy or how the LP came in to existence in the first place. It was all so fascinating and perpetually new.
So thank you Bill Watterson, for helping me discover the beauty of looking to the future rather than digging through the past (even though I still secretly want to be a ninja).













… and if you parents didn’t stop you from dissecting the LP player, you would have become an engineer instead! Oh the horror!
Oh my goodness! You mean your parents hit you as a child when you did something wrong? They should be locked up and the key thrown away! I’m shocked and appalled by their outdated parenting techniques which CLEARLY do not work! You must surely be repeating the cycle now and severely beating your children for absolutely no logical reason other than they’re breathing (too heavily or something). Oh the madness, won’t somebody think of the children!?
I’m assuming you’re being sarcastic here, but I’m not sure how your comment is really relevant. The article is about how a comic strip discussing a particular phenomenon got someone interested in science and technology, and the line about not being able to sit for 3 days is there as a joke. Kinda like how a lot of non-white comedians’ jokes are based on beating received as a child.
Obviously I’m being sarcastic. I didn’t believe I’d actually need to say so given the content. And I don’t have to restrict my comments to relate solely to the overall content of the article. I cherry picked a section of it and decided to emphasise it. That OK or should I ask permission next time?
I’m sorry. I’ve obviously offended you. Please continue posting long winded comments based off 7 words in a an article.