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After failing miserably on numerous occasions, North Korea has finally put a satellite in orbit. But according to US officials, it is now “tumbling out of control.” This is bad news and more bad news, covered in a double layer of extra bad news.
NORAD detected the launch yesterday at 7:49pm Eastern Time. The rocket passed over Japan on its way to orbit. Its first stage splashed down into the Yellow Sea, while the second one fell on the Philippine Sea. Soon after that, the United States and most countries with space tracking capabilities confirmed the launch success: whatever it was carrying, it reached orbit. According to Kim Jong-Un’s regime, it’s a “weather satellite” on a polar orbit, going in the same direction as an Earth meridian.
Except it’s really going any which way: talking to NBC News, US officials are saying that the “space object” is tumbling out of control.
The most obvious bad news is that this is quite dangerous, as this object has now become a collision risk to other satellites.
The first collision between two satellites happened in 2009, when an American 1,235-pound Iridium communications satellite—launched in 1997—collided with a dead 1-ton Russian satellite launched in 1993. At the time, NASA blamed the Russians.
The collision wasn’t only bad for the functioning Iridium, but also to everyone else. Space is a big place, but it’s full of trash. And like that accident proved, collisions happen.
We can track small pieces of debris, but space crashes generate particles that we can’t monitor. The thousands of objects that may result from such an accident put other satellites, spaceships and the lives of astronauts at risk.
The other bad news is that, while nobody really knows if this is a satellite or not, all countries are assuming it has been an attempt to disguise the test of a three-stage intercontinental ballistic missile. One that can easily reach the United States or Russia. And it worked.
The only bit of good news is that the lack of precision that probably led to a spinning satellite is proof of North Koreans’ ineptitude when it comes to design and control these long-range weapons. Putting an ICBM in space is not all you need to, say, drop a couple of nuclear warheads over Los Angeles. You need precision guiding systems for that, something that Kim Jong-Un’s boffins haven’t seemed to have mastered quite yet.
But then again, a nuclear warhead falling anywhere will definitely be very bad news anyway, no matter how precise it is.
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Don’t worry, the US Air Force satellite spy / killer will probably take care of it, it just happened to be launched around the same time: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20680253
It’s looking a little more obvious what it could be for isn’t it.
Looking at that, I think they just taped up the windows of an old space shuttle
Amazing gif
It’s mesmerising isn’t it? I really hope the “satellite” does actually look like that
Best gif ever.
I think there should be a vote for best header image of the year, 2012.
This would probably win though. Look at him!
I was like, “yeah it’s a funny gif” and then he came in upside down and I lost it
Nice big slow clap for North Korea….
End of the world on the 22nd December looks just a little bit more likely now doesn’t it
its supposed to be the 21st
Does it depend which timezone you are in though?
GMT is there other timezone I think not.
I have just realised that my last comment was dipped in ugly sauce with haste & carelessness, I apologise as it seems to make little to no sense what so ever.
I feel my point still remains valid though.
I hope it’s the 21st, I’m doing all of my christmas shopping on the 22nd. The shops will be a lot less crowded after a world ending event.
We have a works Christmas party on the 22nd I’m hoping this will be my excuse.
Yeah, I’m not looking forward to all the pavement rage-walking I’m going to have to do, not to mention the horrors of navigating John Lewis. A post-apocalyptic wasteland would be much more preferable, and we probably won’t actually have to pay for stuff either.
I though the last day, you know, the meteor, giant lizards, Satan, volcanoes, whatever, all started on the 21st with it ending on the 22nd (although if extra time kicks in it could go longer if a superhero intervenes or minor deity steps in).
I’ve booked the day off work. I can’t take this any more.
It probably will go into extra time as Cthulhu is a diving time wasting little shit. You’d think he played Premiership football the amount of times he’s rolling around the floor.
obscure reference but well done
Wait, what. I just finished reading on Gizmodo that they this launched failed completely and crashed down in the Philippine sea. Now your are saying that did launch a satellite.
Also, I’m pretty sure that the US’s first attempts weren’t that great. I don’t know why you feel you have to ridicule North Korea about a successful satellite launch. There is so much more to ridicule them about, but certainly not a successful launch.
PS, I love the gif
I mean to be fair to North Korea, none of the people laughing at their failed launches would have any idea how to do it! Still i do hope they keep failing as well!
Pah. Something like 95% of the earth’s surface is ocean and the other 5% is Russia. Should be fine.
As long as it doesn’t knock out the trusty Astra 2a, I’m not fussed.
your first line is epic. breakfast cereal out of nose funny
I came here for the gif.
I hope it doesn’t fall on South Korea or Japan..wait hold on, what’s that up in the sky?
Boffin? Is this website affiliated with The Sun now?
I think the Sun’s use of “boffin” for accredited scientists is lazy journalism – I think in this instance though it’s a well placed barb aimed at Kim Jong-Un’s scientist henchmen.
This GIF should win some sort of award.
Maybe if American and other western countries, who murder their own citizens, kidnap families and hand them over for torture and allow an entire countries wealth to be stolen if it benefits them stopped threatening North Korea and instead tried to work with them then we would not get into these situations.
If America had North Korean forces and navy stationed on their borders then it would be war. America kills more innocent children in muslim counties in a month than North Korea has killed non citizens in many years.
Good for North Korea for launching the satellite, Russia did it first but this is just as impressive given the blockade that is around the North.
Ahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Well done, for a moment I didn’t realise you were being ironic.
notsureiftrollorjustverystupid.jpg
To build a nuclear ICBM you also need to have a nuclear warhead, something NK haven’t mastered yet either. Not even China would be crazy enough to hand one over to these guys.
So all in all, a misguided rocket and a nuclear technology barely beyond trying to capture Radon gas with a mesh net means that I’ll still be sleeping soundly in bed for a while yet.
Best.Gif.Ever.
What if it isn’t spinning out of control and the U.S simply want to blow it to smithereens under the smoke screen of the satellite potentially causing disruptions to other satellites etc?………it’s a conspiracy i tells ya
NORAD? What are they doing confirming satellite launches? Shouldn’t they be tracking Santa by now?
Apparently Kim Ding Dong has him in a Gulag now… We all need to chip in a bit for the ransom money..
Mr. Diaz calls a failure the fact that a poor/embargoed/isolated/bullied country still managed to launch a satellite to space (although apparently loosing control of it’t orbit).
I don’t think South Korea, USA and Nato are so unimpressed. If North Korea could do it despite everyone around trying to stop them, how about now that they can launch a nuke all the way to USA?
Of course it was always gonna be North Korea #21stDecember