18 
Google is so convinced you don’t want to see porn that it started filtering its own search results. Bullshit. Everybody wants porn, and nobody wants to admit it. Except me, of course, I don’t look at that smut. But for the rest of you: It’s time to fess up.
After all, everybody knows you’re doing it anyway.
Not every sex-crazed degenerate online has the wherewithal to read a brilliant tutorial on watching porn and getting away with it. But someone in your family is tech-savvy enough to know what they’re doing. They’ve used the computer after you, and they’ve gone through your sordid search history, and closed the vile windows you only managed to minimise. They know.
And you know what? You know they’re doing the same. So why not just be open about it?
So you think you know how to watch porn in your dorm room. Let me tell you, it takes a special kind of stealthy and depraved to pull that off for the whole semester. The room is just too cluttered and disorganised and bunk-bedded to hide every little crumpled-up, crusty item of evidence.
Look, you’re in college. Go meet someone. Say hello after class. Make a date. Put a sock on the door handle. This might actually be the one time in your life that, if you’d just apply yourself a little, you actually wouldn’t have to pretend you weren’t looking at porn. Because you’d be with a real live freewheelin’ undergrad, just like you!
So you’re all grown up. You’ve got a real job. And you’re still pretending you aren’t looking at porn. Just listen to Kyle Wagner’s euphemistic overtures about the Nexus 10 in his recent review of the best full-size tablet:
The Nexus also has a strange design detail that makes it tricky to hold with one hand. It’s slightly thicker on one end than the other-a wedge design sort of like an ultrabook. But the thick side has that sort-of slippery backplate, which can slide from your grip, and holding the skinny side leaves you supporting the heavy end uncomfortably. Another small thing that will wear on you using it every day for weeks.
Every day for weeks. We know what this one-handed business is about, Kyle, coming from a guy who spent Thanksgiving most grateful for incognito browser sessions.
I mean, say what you will about @dogboner, but at least it’s a straightforward position. Listen to this platitude from Tuesday:
The answer is you. And your employer, financially. But mostly you.
To the dogboners of the world: Just cop to your lascivious, shameful porn consumption during the workday. Pray you don’t get canned. Because then what would you do with all that free time?
User Manual is Gizmodo’s guide to etiquette.
Fwiw, does anyone know the name of that porn star? *Just asking*
Every time this image appears on Giz, everyone asks the same question… Who is she?!
Whoever she is, she’s probably due a lot of royalties.
It’s Billie Piper in Secret Diary of a Call Girl.
I am told it’s Juliana Kincaid though have never seen any of her work. obv.
Just Googled her – yep, you’re right.
And now there’s no point in me pretending I don’t look at porn online.
Nope, it’s Billie Piper from Secret Diary of a Call Girl
She’s remarkably bendy.
Right, that’s enough of that.
I am told she’s also known as Julianna Kinkaid
So what is she doing in this video that makes her look like that?
I eat a carrot before masturbating to offset the chances of going blind
There’s nothing but porn on TV these days.
I tell you, it makes me so angry, I sit on the end of my bed and shake my fist at it.
I, for one, welcome the change. When I want to google for porn (why? it’s not like it’s hard to find) I will use terms that will lead me directly to porn. But I was getting a bit fed up with the fact that almost every single search term led one way or another to some erotica, if I forgot to turn on the ‘moderate search’ switch. Rule 34 got rather too overwhelming these last few years.
My Google results still aren’t filtered, perhaps it’s because I’m using Chrome and logged in. And no one is ever going to see what porn I watch, or that I watch it at all, because I have my own computers that are password protected and it’s been this way since I was about 15. It’s called a personal computer for a reason, if you’re going to share it at least have separate password protected accounts.
“Every day for weeks. We know what this one-handed business is about, Kyle, coming from a guy who spent Thanksgiving most grateful for incognito browser sessions.”
This, coming from a person who said they were thankful for sexting and lives /shares wanking space with a roommate
There’s only ever been one occasion where I haven’t wanted porn to come up on Google Images; When me and a female graphic designer were using it to look for stock photos and a load of hardcore porn came up, and she exclaimed “It’s too early in the morning for hardcore porn”, which made me giggle.
The rest of the time I’ve wanted porn, lots of lovely porn. I’m not sure what Google are aiming to do here…At least give people a way to turn all filtering off, or they’re going to move to other search providers, maybe even permanently!