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Fun fact: Crime rates (burglaries in particular) have a nasty habit of peaking around December. Surrey Police are hoping to put a damper on thieves’ smash-and-grab Christmas celebrations by sending them a little something. A joyous Christmas message that reminds them “WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN”. Yes, actually. Those words.
The cards are being sent to “repeat offenders” within Surrey, with the rozzers hoping that a friendly kick up the backside might help keep a lid on the traditional Christmas break-ins. It all forms part of a wider initiative, dubbed Operation Candlelight (I do hope they’re not using real candles though — imagine the Health and Safety implications), which is all aimed at lowering crime rates throughout the autumn and winter.
Other measures include: a YouTube video in which a some poor kid’s Christmas pressies get nicked; top brass using groan-inducing puns (“I would urge members of the public as they open the window of their advent calendar tomorrow morning to consider how easy it would be for a burglar to open a window or door to their house”), and a series of radio ads. Hear that criminals? Hands off our tech. Or a creepy stalker-cop from Surrey Police will “hunt you down”. Like a dog. [Metro]
Yes here in surrey we prefer the psychopathic approach to policing.
As a Surrey resident I’d prefer they just lock up all known offenders for 5 years and then exile them to Birmingham
That’s a bit unfair. I know they’re scum but exile to Birmingham?, most would rather opt for the death sentence.
It does amuse me that all my friends at Birmingham Uni live in the red light district. (The uni is in the red light district)
Your friends lied to you.
No, they didn’t… The uni is over Edgbaston way, and around Edgbaston is the red light district.
I know the area, it’s just stupid university student talk. One of those lame myths that each university has.
There’s no “red light district”, and none of the students live in Edgebaston anyway
The university students weren’t the ones who told me… My dad, who lived in Birmingham for 7 years, told me. And some university halls are in Edgbaston, it was my second choice last year.
Well your dad is mistaken or maybe it was a very very long time ago.
There is no “red light district”, the vast majority of the halls are essentially in a massive park with a lake, or in Selly Oak, which is just a (slightly chavvy) town with a billion houses. The students of that University do not live in a red light district because a) there isn’t any area that could be described as a red light district b) most of the students live in a normal residential area south of the uni, or on the student village, surrounded by grass, lake, and canal.
I’m just trying to dispel a myth here, namely the one where you said “the uni is in a red light district”
Sure, there will be students living in areas with (not visible) prostitution, but no more so than any other urban area in the UK.
There’s nothing in Selly Oak… Most of the accommodation is elsewhere. Pritchats Park? Probably spelled wrong. I’m just going on what he said… It was only ten years ago! (Divorced parents – didn’t live with us down in the south)
There are like 3 different halls complexes in Selly Oak, also the vast majority of private residential housing is occupied by students – the majority of the student population live in Selly Oak.
Anyway this is besides the point as there is no red light district in Birmingham.
Google tells me that the Red Light District is North of Hagley Road, in Edgbaston. There are Uni Halls around there. I found 12 web pages (unrelated) confirming this. I don’t know what, or where Hagley Road is. Just telling you what I found.
No students live up there. It’s way too far from the campus, and still about half an hour walk from any halls I know of.
Red light district? It’s just a poor area. There’s a bunch of council estates around north Edgebaston. Same as any poor part of any city, but there’s no students up there.
There are prostitutes all over the place incidentally. Don’t look to hard
I’m quite convinced I found a brothel of sorts near my house (another part of the country)
Ah, okay
. But there still is one…
Anywhere ‘North’ then…. I’m a fair man
Oy, I’m in the North and won’t be having little toerags being shipped up here because you lot of softy southerners cant keep em in check.
Quiet, you!
As a northerner you don’t get a say in this! I say ship ‘em all out of our wonderful south!
I’ll build a wall, mark my words.
Aye, sort of like the Hardian’s!
I was thinking more Hadrians
I was thinking more Watford Gap
It is similar on her!
Rebuilding Hadrian’s Wall would be a good work project for the unemployed, we could do with more jobs up north. Once that’s completed we can start preparing the plans for a second wall on the scottish border just in case they decide on full independance.
Well…we will hire some poles to do it for us. We can’t be arsed and they’ll do a better job at any rate.
be fair, most of them are probably from up north to begin with, we’re simply sending them home
I can’t see why any Northerner would want to sully themselves by heading south with jellied eels, pee weak beer, tangoed women and the only was is Essex to name but a multitude of wrongs.
To be fair Geordie Shore was a retaliatory attack on The Only Way is Essex and Made in Chelsea. Pretty sure it could be classed as a war crime though.
Ah, some of us reside in the deeeeeep deep south of Kent&Sussex… I like to think of it as teaching the less culturally fortunate.
How I long for a butchers that’d sell me a saveloy dip!
Jeesh. Can’t we all just get along?
Of course WE can, it’s the Northerners who are causing the problems here.
Sorry did you mention me?
Ship em to Bournemouth or somewhere else in Dorset; F’k all to do down there and bloody cold so they will either behave or get frozen stiff hanging around the fields/moors
HEY! We don’t want your scum, we have enough of our own to contend with. Ship ‘em to isle of man we can make a prison colony.
No, not the Isle of Man! We need to be able to hold the TT every year, we’d best construct a new island and put them there!
Ever seen ‘Death Race’? Think that but with less machine guns and more bikes.
so Matt Delito’s new job is designing the forces Xmas cards then?
I was thinking the other day how much money we squander on shite. Do these things ever have any impact? I imagine it takes a lot to harden a criminal to break into someone’s house and steal. I imagine a flyer detailing what they already know isn’t going to change much?
We do the same with benefits, we squander billions every few years jigging the whole system to on effect, constant resources monitoring or maintaining it all, yet how effective is all that waste? Are any more people going to volunteer to forgo a £35k job with prospects to take a £70 hand out? I imagine spending nothing would have a similar effect, yet win much less middle England votes.
It seems the waste in both of these things isn’t regarding a solution, but PR in showing the community that action is in effect – when everything is what it is already. What a waste of money and time.
I reckon for several billion we could lease a large portion of somewhere in Africa, Russia or Asia and then send all our benefit claimants and criminals there until they become productive
Yes, good luck with that
At least I’ve got a plan, more than the last two governments have
Liking the plan! Give it a hundred years and we will have another OZ we can go on our hols to.
It is part of the problem, the demonisation of the underdog. Benefits is a huge growing problem, and that problem isn’t from unfair claimants its from entitled pensioners, and failed private sector pensions. You need more of a Logan’s Run vibe if you are wanting to go with a fascist solution to a social problem.
Rather than a fascist solution can I choose the North Korean option and fence off huge sections of the country to put all the poor starving in, have lots of smiley soldiers, annoy the Americans and have my population happily worship me (if they want to keep breathing)…
“…fence off huge sections of the country to put all the poor starving in, have lots of smiley soldiers, annoy the Americans and have my population happily worship me (if they want to keep breathing)…”
And what part of this aren’t we doing yet?
most…when I drive somewhere sometimes I have to drive through ‘poor’ areas and there’s no fences, guards or even cattle grids
if I can drive through so easily it explains how the poor keep getting out in to the general area.
I think they should go one step further and send a telegram to repeat offenders on their 100th birthday, like the Queen does, except it should say: “We’re still watching you.”
Did Liam Neeson just join the Surrey Police force?
or a mixture of Leslie & Dennis Nielsen
Can’t wait for the public out-cry when some old duffer accidentaly gets one of these cards instead of their next door crim
yeah yeah scary.
just remember coppers have lovely shift patterns,makes them a lovely target for burgulars.
the younger ones tend to have quite high disposable income cos of all their ripoff overtime system,so they tend to buy each other quite expensive presents and like builders and their homes or gardeners their home gardens,coppers are crap at home security,mistaken belief that folk give a toss these days that their coppers,does’nt work anymore boys.
sounds like the usual xmas crap,along with all the nonsense about d and d that they dont enforce properly,cos if they did it would cause too much grief in the courts.
I live in Surrey and was robbed two weeks ago. I wonder if the scum that robbed my place got a card (not that they would be able to read it). Fact is these parasitic wastes of space are not in the least bit scared of the police and wont be until harsher punishments are introduced. Until then we will continue to pay for their housing and gambling money and they will rob us when they feel that’s not enough.
And here’s me wondering if I can buy some of these to send to my mates – let’s face it they are a sight more interesting than most of the ones I’ve seen in the shops.
“We know where you WILL live”? No, actually. Not those words.
I disagree with this, while working for Gwent Police we were told to put leaflets through doors that were shaped like large hands and arms (as to give the impression that when you walked to the door someone was reaching in). I believe that was about burglary, it was quite a terrifying sight. Needless to say we received a number of well warranted complaints.
Wear a mask. Got it.
Thanks for the tip, Surrey Police!!