18 
Supermarkets are wonderful places; grocery-filled utopias equally amazing for the weekly shop and late-night maple syrup runs. They’re basically the epitome of modern retail prowess; like the rest of us, though, they’re just human, and sometimes they screw up awfully (as I’m sure you’ve read this morning). Here’s a collection of the retail giants’ greatest gaffes to date.
You know what goes superbly with a glass of chardonneigh or marelot at dinner? A horse meat burger. Turns out that owing to terrible quality control/a beef shortage, Tesco and Iceland have taken to selling beef burgers that actually contain up to 29 per cent horse meat. The dodgy stuff originates from Ireland and Yorkshire; even though horse meat’s not actually illegal, and probably constitutes part of a stable diet, it’s been withdrawn from sale, and the horsey-meat is off. Right, that’s me punned out.*
So this one isn’t strictly illegal or anything, but it’s still a rip-off worthy of the dodgiest of ‘unwanted DVD-player-toting’ pub geezers. Tesco and Asda were found guilty of bottling and re-branding straight-up tap water as mineral water, before whacking the price up by 2500 per cent, and sticking it on shelves. Naughty boys.
3.) Tesco’s Kiddie’s Pole-Dancing Kit
Talk about over-sexualisation of children. Back in 2006, Tesco decided that a totally appropriate and acceptable toy to put on sale would be a pole-dancing kit for children, containing: a proper chrome-plated stripper-pole, “sexy dance garter”, and DVD with a bunch of suggestive dance moves on it. Just add the leather S&M catsuit and handcuffs, and you have the perfect home bondage kit for your little tyke.
In 2008, China was rocked by a scandal caused by contaminated baby milk formula killing babies and making children ill. Unsurprisingly, the problems weren’t just in China; the industrial chemical responsible for the illness, melamine, made its way over to the UK by cunningly disguising itself as a sweet, White Rabbit Cream Candies. If ingested, the chemical would cause stomach pains and kidney stones, which totally ruins your sugar high. Needless to say, the sweeties were withdrawn from sale, probably saving lots of lives and causing innumerable toddler tantrums.
Sound vaguely familiar? In another dodgy food scandal, cloned bull meat accidentally entered the UK food chain after an American supplier illegally sold it on. Cloned meat isn’t known to be dangerous, but it’s still illegal in the UK. What I want to know is:, does using cloned meat mean you could create two identical burgers? Could you actually tell the difference between the two? Will eating cloned meat mean you start cloning little bull-ets? QUESTIONS.
“Free Photoshop” strikes again
Didn’t you hear? It’s not free!
So as a conciousness tech blogger you have deleted it from your system and removed any articles that may have given the impression that it was free
Haven’t you
Conciousness? I may be a conscientious tech blogger, but certainly not a conciousness one
As you can tell, I’m barely a concious commenter and certainly not conscientious when it comes to checking what autocorrect does with my spellings
It was free, downloading some software and putting a code into it that is supplied by Adobe. That means it is totally free, Adobe supply it with no instructions on their website. The EULA states you need a serial but does not mention having a proof of purchase, so Adobe can have their forum people cry about how it isn’t free or legal but it is free, and the EULA is completely obeyed.
Not sure the water thing was much of a scandal except in peoples minds. After all most of the costs there would be from bottling and shipping so of course it’s going to look like a massive markup compared to straight out of the tap, it’s still a hell of a lot less than “mineral water”.
I guess it depends how it was labelled. If it was sold as “still water” and not “mineral water” then they’ve done nothing wrong. It’s not like they bottled water in Sidcup, called it Dasani and tried to palm it off on us like that….
Pretty much as “still water”. still is.
Asda’s is something like 13p for a 2 litre bottle but the smaller quantities are more expensive, you pay for convenience. TBH If you emptied the bottle out and compared the price to a pack of plastic cups it’s probably not that dissimilar per kg.
I actually found that water to be tastier than normal spring water. I’m planning a trip to sidcup to try and relive the satisfying flavour.
Coca cola did the same from their bottling depot in Sidcup a few years back.
Doh – missed the above comment.
2013 just started!
Actually the bigger issue in the beefburgers was the percentage of Pork in the burgers (and unlisted on the contents) since while it is unclear in the Muslim faith weather Horse is ok or not, pork is definitely off the menu.
If a Muslim unknowingly eats Pork and never finds out then how does that affect their chances in the afterlife?
It makes no difference at all since when they die they will just be worm food like everyone else.
You and I think that but I suspect Muslims think otherwise
From a conversation with a Muslim friend a few years ago I think that if they are unaware of it then it has no effect on their trip to the afterlife. Personally I see it in the same light as you guys, worm food but each to their own if they keep it at home.
Well they should have bought Hala burgers! Problem solved!
I think if a Muslim knowingly buys non-halal meat, he takes all the risks upon himself.
If it IS marked as halal and isn’t, that’s a suit-worthy affair.
I wasn’t thinking legal redress, I was wondering metaphysically (sent to Muslim Hell?)
There would be no problems if it’s eaten unintentionally, in Islam all deeds are judged by the intention rather than the deed.
Personally I’m also on the worm food side of the discussion… but each to their own.
That sounds fair.
Cloned meat is illegal? That’s dumb.
Its too protect the farmer, his he has a cloned heard and one gets ill then it is almost certain that the rest of the heard will become ill as well.
We certainly don’t want to be in the position we are with bananas but with the worlds supply of cattle. That would be bad, could lose the lot.
Nutritionally Horse Meat is Pretty Damn Good and where its sold for what it is is kind of expensive. So if anything your getting moar for your money?
That’s what I’ve been saying, much lower fat content.
I’m still slightly annoyed that the last time I was in France I was banned from buying some local horse because one of our friends we were with has a pet horse
Not really sure why the UK has a big hang up about horse meat!
Typical Brit “Cant eat fluffy horses, they remind me of unicorns, must slaughter and eat daisy cow and porky pig and chick chick chick chicken!”
I wouldn’t say that’s a typical Brit.
Our history shows that we used to eat pretty much anything. I still do!
Bring on the horse! Nom nom!
I’d eat it if it was available and not too expensive.
If its got legs and isn’t human I’ll give it a go. I’d quite like to try one of these horsey burgers see if they taste different to the beef only variety.
I’d love to know how many people actually buy £1-1.50 burgers from Tesco it seems from a look on their website the only ones affected are the value ranges.
Nothing wrong with value burgers, just a bit oniony….and bland. But hey nothing wrong with a cheap lunch.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21011778
To beef or not to beef? That is equestrian.
Are we going to have to rein you in?
Don’t worry, not many puns remane.
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Love it.
I heard on the news that this horse meat problem was brought to Tesco’s attention by the Irish food safety agency, as the meat originated in Eire
Hmmm So we now know what happen to Shergar then
Well, considering the tasty muscle on a racehorse. Look at France! Meat is meat, right? :-p
I like how 60% of these are animal products, totally wish I ate them now…
“late-night maple syrup runs”
Erm…..what?
I have spontaneous and uncontrollable cravings for maple syrup. Deal with it.
Fair enough Chris, it must be to due with me being a northerner or something lol.
Or something to do with my Canadian heritage…
That explains everything and not in a derogatory way!
I’d love to think you guys have had four of these for years, then this morning someone was all like ‘Chris! Chris! Come quick!’
Welcome to Gizmodo
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Tesco might as well spin this positively (for the consumer) in the long run and set up a horse burger as I am sure I’m not the only one who hasn’t tried horse and would love to try a horse burger. Charities for horses are always getting money pumped into them to help race horses past their prime why not just repackage them as ‘premium horse meat’?
ahh for once im glad to be a vegetarian!
Calling bottled tap water mineral water certainly would be illegal.
See “The Natural Mineral Water, Spring Water and Bottled Drinking Water Regulations 1999″ for the specifics.
But what the supermarkets did was describe a bottle of water as a bottle of water. If that confuses customers, then those customers are morons.
And I think by saying “Tesco and Asda were found guilty of bottling and re-branding straight-up tap water as mineral water”, you leave yourself open to a libel lawsuit, unless they in fact were found guilty by a court of doing that.