Toy Train Company Nearly Secures West Coast Mainline Contract

By Gary Cutlack on at

Toy company Big Jigs submitted a jokey application to run the troubled West Coast Mainline franchise, and didn't expect to get much joy. But the Department for Transport replied. And was quite funny.

The original letter from Big Jigs included one of the company's wooden train models as a blatant bribe, with the toy maker claiming it has never had an accident, and that it's toys are unaffected by the weather. It was a bit of a strange thing for a company to do.

The DfT's response was even weirder. It critiqued the wooden toys, suggesting that wooden carriages wouldn't pass today's stringent safety tests, also pointing out that the two axle system is rather old hat by today's standards and would lead to some severe speed limitations were the wooden toys to be rolled out on the West Coast Mainline route.

Everyone was a bit bored and silly. Here's the original letter and the DfT secretary's response. Click it to make it more readable:

Very good. I shall certainly be voting Conservative after that. [Big Jigs]