Tamago Egg App Is the App to End All Apps—and Your Life

By Jesus Diaz on at

It's over, my friends. This is the end. Today—today I want to talk to you about Tamago Egg, the app that ends all apps. After you download it, there will be no need for you to download any other app ever again. It's game over.

Tamago Egg's premise is deceptively simple: tap on this egg one million times. One fucking million times. The egg starts to crack and something will happen at the end. What happens, you ask? This:

SPOILER ALERT (it doesn't matter if you see this, because you've already decided you want to play this anyway. YOU WANT TO.)

Tamago Egg App Is the App to End All Apps—and Your Life

That's it.

So why deceptively simple? Because Tamago Egg is no app. Tamago Egg is an existential trap. It's showing you the light, if you still have eyes to see.

Tamago Egg is a symbol of the aborted omelette that is your life. Our life. This app is a metaphor. A social provocation. A call to revolt against the the establishment. To change the world. Tamago Egg is a complete philosophical system in and on itself, the pinnacle of thinking that went from Socrates to Aristotle to Kant and Kierkegaard to these handful of megabytes in iTunes and Google Play. This app is all there is, the perfect summary of our modern world. One million taps to crack a stupid egg. One million taps to get ten million points in Temple Run. Another one for texts, for mails, for Twitter, for Facebook. A hundred thousand million taps to call your friends and family. At the end it's all the same. Tap, tap, tap. TAP! Tap your screen. Tap your keyboard. Tap your trackpad. That's all we do. Every single day.

You are spending your life tapping on all this crap for what exactly? Nothing. That's what. You get nothing, Sir. NOTHING. A fucking cracked egg. A tombstone with an epitaph that says "So, What?"

But then again, so, what?