The Samsung Galaxy S4 Launch Event Drinking Game

By Chris Mills on at

The Galaxy S4 launch will kick off 11PM tonight, and if our experiences with the PlayStation 4 'unveil' were anything to go by, late-night launches suck. So, we thought a more fun way to do the launch would be with an alcoholic beverage clasped firmly in your over-excited paw. But drinking by yourself is no fun, which is why we've got a drinking game to see you safely/drunkenly through the launch event.

 

Preliminaries

It's a drinking game, so the basics are pretty simple: all you need is something hooked up to YouTube, several bottles of something nice and boozey, and preferably some friends, 'cuz drinking alone kinda blows.

We'll have the live video embedded on this page (hopefully!); you'll also be able to follow our live coverage of the event, and Giz UK editor-in-chief Kat will be frantically live-tweeting the event from New York (in between doing her shots, of course!).

 

One-Finger Offences

- Any use of a gratuitous video montage showing how various hipsters have had their lives changed by a Samsung device
- Oversized graph shows just how damn big Samsung's dick sales figures are
- Any mention of how nature has influenced the design to make it super-ergonomic/as silky-smooth as flowing water/basically as amazing as unicorn shit
- Any snarky reference to a failing in an Apple product
- Every use of the term 'next-gen'.

 

Two-Finger Offences

- Random celebrity is bribed to come on stage and pretend they're REALLY EXCITED about the Galaxy S4
- A shitty made-up marketing term is introduced -- think 'Ultrapixel' or 'Generation M'
- For every half-hour the event goes on, do two fingers.
- Every time Samsung goes to extreme lengths to remind us how totally redesigned and different the new devices is from the GS III/Galaxy Note.

 

Three-Finger Offences

- Annoying twerpy kid in his annoying twerpy suit is dragged on stage
- Any kind of dance routine happens
- A new device is held up Simba-style for the awestruck crowd to behold

 

Finish Your Drink

- Entire Samsung design team does the Harlem Shake
- Any kind of rap/music video mentioning 'Samsung' or 'Galaxy'. Or any kind of rap/music video for that matter
- Tech demo goes tits-up

 

Finish Your Drink, Shortly Followed By Finishing Your Life

- Any kind of Gangnam Style parody
- Samsung doesn't actually bother to reveal the Galaxy S4

Image credit: Beer from Shutterstock