11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

By Leslie Horn on at

Popsicles. Corndogs. Shish kabaobs. There are, you know, options. But sometimes, imagery just doesn't cut it. Here are eleven ways to put penis on the table.

11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

1) Here's a mold for dick-shaped eggs for breakfast. Doubles as a pancake mold.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

2) Hot dogs: already phallic. But put that sausage on naked man on a stick and that it becomes a proper cock. (Scrotum included.)


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

3) Cock-ie cutters so you can make penis cookies. Here's a sugar cookie recipe you could use. And here's a gingerbread cookie recipe you could also use, because we don't discriminate.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

4) Penis-shaped pasta, for dick alla vodka. Maybe not alfredo though you SICK FREAK.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

5) A penis-shaped cake pan lets you have your dick and eat it too. Any store-bought mix would suffice.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

6) And now that you have the penis pan, Penispans.com provides plenty of ways to use it creatively. Phallic palm trees! Elephants with dick noses! Wizards with cock and balls for hats!


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

7) The penis pan is so handy in the kitchen. It also works as a jello mold.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

8) Prefer your dicks in cupcake form? Here's a set of smaller dong molds.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

9) Penis lollipops. Veiny penis lollipops you can buy pre-made.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

10) Penis jello shots? Sure, there are molds for those too.


11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

11) Need the recipe for this shlong salad crown roast of frankfurters? Here it is. Thanks a lot Weight Watchers!