Apparently an elderly man from Australia inserted a 10-centimetre fork up his male member in an attempt to reach sexual gratification. As you'd expect, because you're reading this on the internet, the fork got stuck.
In fact, by the time the man had summoned up the courage to deal with the embarrassment of having to present one's serious mistake to a medical professional, it could no longer be seen from the outside.
An X-ray revealed the horror, which doctors had to resort to general anaesthetic, forceps, and a tonne of lube to get out. It was such an unusual case that the hospital decided to publish a report, and document other cases of objects inserted into the lower urinary tract, including such highlights as needles, pencils, allen keys, toothbrushes, light bulbs, vegetables, snakes, cocaine and glue...because that's bound to end well.
Apparently the cases are rare enough that it's difficult to get the required medical experience to deal with them, but there's a lot of potential for damage and serious injury. Let's just put it this way: Do NOT insert anything up your penis. Seriously, it's just not worth it. [The Examiner]