24-year-old Daniel Cooper, from Holywell in North Wales, had the night of his life back on August 18th, managing to get himself arrested for drunkenly simulating sex with an innocent young Land Rover Discovery that was parked outside a kebab shop.
That wasn't his only crime on the night in question, either. The prosecutor told the court he'd also tried it on with a kebab shop counter on his crazed night of sexual boundary-pushing, explaining: "He was seen to enter a kebab shop where he was simulating the sex act against the corner of the counter. At one stage he lay on the ground and simulated the sex act. Then he did the same to a Land Rover Discovery vehicle which was parked nearby."
Cooper's drunken acts earned him a three-month community order banning him from leaving the house between 7pm and 7am on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights for three months, and an order to pay £85 in costs.
His solicitor claims Cooper is "mortified" and "totally ashamed" of his actions and can't remember any of it happening due to being so hammered. Despite this, he's changed his name to "Daniel Hotcock Cooper" on Facebook, suggesting he's actually quite proud of his object-grinding notoriety. Or is just an idiot. [Telegraph]