Have you signed up for Google+ yet? Have you?! Or have you been cowering in the closet, whispering empty reassurances to yourself as it slowly but surely closes in. There's only one place this can all be headed: Enter Google Blackmail.
OK so College Humor's take on the future is (probably) not accurate, but the part where Google is practically begging definitely is. There's no way it'd release your search history like that though. No, it'd just sic an army of horrifying robots on you. Welcome to SkyNet+! [College Humor]