Thanks to the ever-diligent men and women of the United States Transportation Security Administration, we can all rest a little bit easier tonight. Yesterday at approximately 17:00 hours, a one Mr. Rooster Monkburn was successfully disarmed when a TSA agent confiscated the monkey sock puppet's two-inch, vaguely gun-shaped piece of plastic—and then threatened to call the police.
The offending accessory.
It all started when Phyllis May of Redmond, Washington attempted to smuggle the stuffed, armed primate through security on her way from St. Louis to Seattle. Immediately identifying the threat, the agents on duty stepped into action and pulled Mr. Monkburn's carrying case from the conveyor. The jig, it seems, was up. "I realised, oh my god, this is my bag," May told KTVB-TV. The exchange that then took place was—and this cannot be emphasised enough—absolutely phenomenal:
May said the TSA agent went through the bag, through the sewing supplies and found the two-inch long pistol.
"She said 'this is a gun,'" said May. "I said no, it's not a gun it's a prop for my monkey."
"She said 'If I held it up to your neck, you wouldn't know if it was real or not,' and I said 'really?'" said May.
The TSA agent told May she would have to confiscate the tiny gun and was supposed to call the police.
"I said well go ahead," said May. "And I said really? You're kidding me right, and she said no it looks like a gun."
"She took my monkey's gun."
Let's hear that one more time.
I said no, it's not a gun it's a prop for my monkey.