Twelve-year-old pyromaniacs, your time has come: Wicked Lasers, manufacturers of those cool and probably-illegal high-power laser pointers, have made a 4100 lumen torch that's powerful enough to melt plastic, start fires and fry eggs. No one is safe.
A few other details: it's manufacturered from 'military-grade' aluminium, so if you get bored of frying insects you can bludgeon them instead; there's a rechargeable lithium-ion battery, for all-day insineration; and it costs about £120 plus shipping, which is more expensive than a Zippo, but less than a flamethrower. I know what I want for Christmas. [Wicked Lasers via Slashgear]