wtf

Apparently No One at CNN Has Ever Sexted Before

By Mario Aguilar on at

CNN is the latest publication to publish an alarmist guide to teen sexting. It's full of nonsensical combinations of letters that no human would ever tap into a text. But to be sure, we took some of this absurdist lingo for a spin, just to make sure it's totally bonkers. It is.

"28 Internet acronyms every parent should know" is a lot of acronyms. On a daily basis I probably use maybe five internet acronyms. A few "LOLs", a "BRB" at lunch time, maybe a "w/e," and on rare occasion, a ROFL. But to dig up 28 whole acronyms for naughty behaviour, CNN went deep—deep into the vortex of popular sexting. Here's a sample:

1. IWSN - I want sex now

2. GNOC - Get naked on camera

3. NIFOC - Naked in front of computer

4. PIR - Parent in room

5 CU46 - See you for sex

6. 53X - Sex

7. 9 - Parent watching

8. 99 - Parent gone

9. 1174' - Party meeting place

10. THOT - That hoe over there

How did the reasonably hip twenty-somethings we know respond to this supposedly sexy language? Here's a sampling:

Apparently No One at CNN Has Ever Sexted Before

Come on, man, don't you know that means that I'm Naked In Front of Computer?

Apparently No One at CNN Has Ever Sexted Before

COME ON. Don't you Want To Trade Pictures?

Apparently No One at CNN Has Ever Sexted Before

Get with the times, dude. Don't you know I'm Broken because I did too much Acid?

Apparently No One at CNN Has Ever Sexted Before

Don't worry: It's not just you friend. Nobody would write that. Or maybe one person did ever. But do you really say Talk Dirty to Me and Naked In Front Of Computer often enough that you need an acronym? Of course not.

Internet slang is a real thing, but let's not overdo it, CNN. Also, a note to parents: Stop spying on your kids and just talk to them—using real-life words. [CNN via Twitter]