Yesterday, we learned that the United States is gearing up to start licensing business on the moon. And while this can mean any number of things for the aerospace community at-large, for Dennis M. Hope of Gardnerville, Nevada, it means one thing and one thing alone: Dennis is screwed.
This is because Dennis, as the head of the Lunar Embassy Commission, owns the moon. He's owned the moon since 1980, when he discovered that he had the power to make things true simply by saying them out loud. Although, to be fair, Dennis did file a statement of ownership with the United Nations – he just never heard back.
None of that matters now, though, cause if the Federal Aviation Administration has its way, Dennis' statement will be (even more) meaningless. According to yesterday's Reuters report, the regulation "doesn't mean there's ownership on the moon". But with a government body attempt to regulate the comings and goings, Dennis loses his infallible "But no one's stopping me!" line of reasoning.
We've reached out to Dennis for comment on the matter and asked whether or not he plans to protest this outlandish commandeering of his hard-earned moon rock. We'll update the minute we hear back.