How much are you prepared to spend on making your app game "better"? Yes, in-app purchases are annoying, but occasionally the odd upgrade can seem worth the coin – like the Imitater in Plants Vs Zombies 2 or the odd fighting upgrade on Only One (I play a lot of games, sue me).
However, there are some IAPs that, like these apps, not only take the proverbial piss, they mark those who purchase them out as individuals who are either in need of an intervention or quite simply earning too much money.
Seriously, buy some groceries… or a home cinema system… or help out a charity. Just don’t buy any of these…
1.) Gun Bros 2's Apathy Bear (£349)
Everyone has wanted the edge in a shooter. Doom gave us the BFG, Half Life 2 gave us the Grav-Gun and Gears Of War… well, CliffyB gave us the Mulcher. Here’s the thing, though: none of those games made us pay for those guns. Not so Gun Bros. 2, whose "Apathy Bear" firearm costs a pretty 3,499 in-game currency – or you could just shell out roughly 350 quid to get it. Well, hey, how badly do you want to win?
2.) Real Racing 3's Koenigsegg Agera (£68)
Fancy owning one of the world’s most famous supercars? On your smartphone? In a game that runs wear-and-tear on your in-game cars like a dodgy mechanic? Well, for the small sum of $100 ((£68) you can own a virtual Koenigsegg Agera that will probably cost you a bomb to maintain after one or two races and earn you the contempt of any of your mates who just bit the bullet and downloaded Need For Speed instead.
3.) Super Monster Bros' Hundred Dollar Buttons (£68 recurring)
The clue is in the name, "Monster". At its base level this game is a rip on two of gaming’s most beloved and established franchises: Mario and Pokémon. Kids will love it. Kids do love it. And kids will probably be blissfully unaware of the cost they’re sending to their parents' iTunes or Google Play account when they tap on a window that asks them to confirm a previously unrequested in-app purchase. These are usually for $100 (£68), too.
Since this app locks your credit card details in and doesn’t ask for a password confirmation for the first couple of purchases, if you’ve given your tablet to your child as a pacifier, you’ll looking at some serious expenditure – the price you pay for your very modern virtual nanny, perhaps.
4. Deer Hunter: Reloaded's Infinite Knives (£68)
Are you a Deer Hunter: Reloaded player? Fancy going all Hunter S. Thompson on your prey? Then jaunt on down to the in-game store where you can purchase an infinite number of knife attacks to hurl at whatever virtual beastie this app plonks in your path. Hey, it’s only around 68 quid, what are you waiting for?
5.) My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic's Princess Celestia (£45)
Where do you begin on this one? First up, you downloaded the My Little Pony app – and at this stage, we’re not judging. Second, you delved into it to the point that you decided that some of the in-app costs were worth shouldering – once again, still not judging, but you should probably hand your credit card to a trusted friend.
Then, you found that Princess Celeste (?) was available for a mere 950 in-game creds – or about 45 quid, if you're still part-time in the real world. That’s a night out and change where I live. Or a decent burger and bourbon slap-up two at Byron. Or a shit ton of drunk buying on Amazon. All of which should make you feel better than buying a pink pony.
But what's the most you've ever spent on an in-app purchase? Let us know down below.