"Thor" High on Bath Salts Humped Tree and Laughed Off Taser Jolts

By Gary Cutlack on at

This dishevelled and shame-faced man was arrested in the US this week, after being found running aroundĀ naked in his home streets while claiming to be the Norse god/superhero Thor. He also attempted to have sex with a tree. Drugs were probably involved, as you might expect.

41-year-oldĀ Kenneth Crowder is said to have been high on flakka, a synthetic drug apparently similar to your gran's beloved old bath salts that have been keeping her wrinkly-fresh since the 1950s. An eye-witness said he was talking in a theatrical manner akin to Russell Brand, throwing his arms around and eventually becoming more and more insane until he started declaring he was god -- a statement he tried to prove by having sex with a tree.

He had "super-human strength" according to the eye-witness who spoke to local news reporters, so expect bath salts to become the hot new substance to abuse among Olympic athletes -- who may soon start to smell suspiciously strongly of aloe vera.

Crowder is said to have taken two Taser discharges from the cops -- which he laughed off and pulled the probes out of his body to get up and chase and attack the attending officers. That's the Lynx effect. [Click Orlando via The Register]