If you're short of some glue, gaffer tape or a couple of elastic bands, and have yet found a suitably-madcap way of doubling your bread-slicing capabilities without doubling your expenditure of effort, chill out. There are bigger problems to be solved than your ability to churn out sandwiches at a heroic rate.
If, however, you refuse to let thousands of years of single-bladed knife-making tradition dictate your lunchbox (or happen to work in a cafe or eatery where, just maybe, owning the following bizarro product makes a semblance of sense), well then. Feast our eyes on the Sandwich Knife:
A dual-bladed knife from the Wednesday Merchants currently being promoted on Kickstarter, it promises to leave you with "the perfect sandwich vessel", turning an uncut loaf into a little bitesized boat with which to sail filling directly down your gullet.
It sounds bloody stupid. Just cut twice? Or buy a ready-sliced loaf? But if you're into your home-baked, rustic loaves, the team promise some "key benefits" including (the frankly unquantifiable) "consistently better sandwiches" and the avoidance of the age old problem of "sandwich slippage", preventing sauce running down your arms.
At the very least, buying one set will make you a quarter of the way towards an Edward Scissorhands or Wolverine costume come Halloween, so there's that to keep in mind if nothing else.
A pledge of $38 dollars (£24) will secure you your very own Sandwich Knife from the Wednesday Merchants. It's a long way off its $22,500 goal, but with 41 days left of the crowd funding campaign to go, there's time yet for it to hit its targets. If the campaign is a success, the Sandwich Knife will begin shipping in October of this year, ready in time for the endless stream of sandwiches that need to be made over Christmas. [Kickstarter]