A Sex Toy That Judges Your Performance Doesn't Sound Much Fun

By James O Malley on at

Are you worried that modern gadgets aren't tracking your every single move? Then good news as now there's a gadget that is being hailed as a Fitbit for the bedroom.

Lovely is a sex toy that will apparently track all of you and your partner's vital statistics so that afterwards you can play at being Gary Lineker and do some post-match analysis. It'll apparently even offer tips on what to do next time based on - and I quote - "your unique style of lovemaking". It'll even tell you how many calories you've burned, so you can figure out if you've earned a post-coital snack.

If you're wondering how it, umm, works, here's how the IndieGoGo campaign describes it:

"Lovely sits tight on the base of the man's penis, resulting in an enhanced, longer lasting erection. During sex, Lovely uses subtle vibrations to provide the direct clitoris stimulation that most women need to orgasm."

The battery apparently lasts for 7 hours without vibration or 2 hours with.

With a month to go the campaign has raised $28,000 of the $95,000 it needs to make it to market. If you'd like to pick one up, it'll set you back $129, and you should probably wash your hands afterwards.

So if you'd like the NSA to know with alarming accuracy what it is like to sleep with you, then this could be the gadget for you. [Wired]