We Cannot Allow These Awful Sliding Aeroplane Seats to Become Real

By Adam Clark Estes on at

It’s easy to think of ways we could improve aeroplane seat design. It takes some sick creativity to think of how we could make it worse, though. But the world is full of sick people—like these dudes from North Carolina who want to put aeroplane seats on wheels and control them with an iPad.

Please god, no. In a patent application, the inventors detail how the location of the seats would change “based on the size of the seat occupant.” In other words, if you’re a tall man with bad posture, the flight attendant could move your chair back into the ample leg-room of the little dome-headed kid behind you (see below). Airlines would probably figure out a way to charge money for this sliding scale of comfort, too.

We Cannot Allow These Awful Sliding Airplane Seats to Become Real

Cynicism aside, the adjustable seat apparatus is really designed to optimize space on a plane. If the airline could borrow an inch here and add an inch there, the cabin’s tight quarters could certainly seem more liveable while zooming through the heavens at 500mph. Then again, is introducing another perceived injustice into the customer experience equation really worth it? And do we really need to install one more thing that can malfunction inside a plane? Just look at that tall dudes’ feet in proximity to the wheel. It’s not a wheel, by the way. It’s this vicious-looking gear:

We Cannot Allow These Awful Sliding Airplane Seats to Become Real

Looks like a toe-eating machine to me. I have a better idea. Let’s just just bolt a bunch of non-reclining seats to floor and bring back free booze on planes. That would improve the experience of flying for sure!

[USPTO via Slashgear]

Images via USPTO