Here Are the New Alcohol Guidelines (Spoiler: You Die Anyway)

By Gary Cutlack on at

The UK now has a new set of alcohol guidelines, with the government and its health advisers deciding that we need to drink less in order to avoid getting a basket of the least popular cancers -- as literally any level of alcohol consumption is now linked to a rise in the likelihood of disease.

The new guidelines only really change the advice offered to male drinkers, with the former 21 units a week limit now dropped to 14 units per week -- the same as previously recommended for lady drinkers. That means you can have:

- Six pints of beer
- Seven glasses of wine
- And that's per week not all at once

That, according to scientists, means your risk of developing an alcohol-related disease later in life drops to just one per cent, which is apparently acceptable and means that having one pint a day is now broadly considered to be as bad for you as the occasional bacon sandwich.

And don't go thinking you can bend the rules by using all your units in one glorious blurry evening of transient happiness either, as the new Department of Health limits guidance specifically warns against "saving up" your units to splurge in one go. They're not Tesco Clubcard vouchers.

It also seems to be be bad news for the old thinking that the occasional glass of red wine is good for you, with the nanny state now warning that: "There is no justification for recommending drinking on health grounds -- nor for starting drinking for health reasons." [Department of Health via BBC]

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