Robot Fights Break Out in New Hampshire, Sparking Fears of a Robot Uprising

By Matt Novak on at

Fights broke out today in New Hampshire between anti-Marco Rubio robots and pro-Rubio humans. It could not yet be confirmed whether the robot uprising has begun, but someone needs to tell that woman that you can’t strangle a robot. It only makes them stronger.

It’s believed that the robots oppose Marco Rubio because the Florida Senator has been posing as a robot in recent debates and Republican primary rallies. Rubio, an alleged human, has been seen as pandering to the robot community in an attempt to secure the robot voting bloc in the Granite State.

 

 

Robot Fights Break Out in New Hampshire, Sparking Fears of a Robot Uprising

 

 

All varieties of robots have been spotted in New Hampshire of late, including the grey-kinda-looks-like-a-bondage-outfit model and the cardboard-robot-with-a-colander-for-a-hat model. Today’s scuffle sent the latter falling to the ground.

 

 

Robot Fights Break Out in New Hampshire, Sparking Fears of a Robot Uprising

 

 

Rumors that Rubio is at least 1/16th robot on his mother’s side could not be confirmed, though the robot community has reportedly denied that Rubio has any claim to robot ancestry. The Rubio campaign has yet to release the long form version of his manufacturing certificate, an equivalent to the human birth certificate.

 

 

Robot Fights Break Out in New Hampshire, Sparking Fears of a Robot Uprising

 

 

Marco Rubio has not posed for a photo-op with the robots in New Hampshire, though he has been chased by them.

 

 

Robot Fights Break Out in New Hampshire, Sparking Fears of a Robot Uprising

 

 

We’ll update this post with any news about a potential robot uprising in New Hampshire as it develops.

 

 

Robot Fights Break Out in New Hampshire, Sparking Fears of a Robot Uprising

 

 

(Photos by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)