This is What London Wankers Search For on Pornhub

By Aatif Sulleyman on at

London has the horn. Our glorious, attention-hogging, painfully hip capital is the UK’s hotspot for porn consumption, with Londoners bringing in a massive 22.4 per cent of Pornhub’s UK’s traffic. Like the city itself, London’s top search terms paint a picture of diversity, with skin colour, religion and nationality key to bishop-bashers’ sexual happiness.

The ‘more often searched compared to the rest of the UK’ table is a journey around the world, with ‘Turkish’, ‘Arab’ and ‘Latina’ vastly more popular in London than the UK as a whole. ‘British chav’ is an unusual entry in the top 10 searches overall -- no doubt the upper classes having a laugh at those of us who turn our noses up at in-breeding -- though there’s no arguing with the likes of ‘lesbian’, ‘MILF’ and ‘threesome’.

The most-viewed categories are pretty standard too, with ‘mature’ the only potential surprise, and the ‘more often viewed compared to the rest of the UK’ breakdown reiterates London’s penchant for the exotic.

We often associate the capital with too much work and not enough play, but the stats paint a rather different story. The average Londoner spends 9 minutes and 27 seconds pulling off over Pornhub content, which demonstrates both impressive levels of endurance and a rather wasteful attitude to time.

That may have something to do with the fact that 59 per cent of London’s Pornhub wankers are below the age of 34. Older tossers, however, will no doubt argue that they’re bringing the numbers up with the power of experienced hands. Youthful stamina or arthritic fingers? Might need a spec comparison to figure this one out.

An impressive 60 per cent of Londoners watch porn on their smartphones, which begins to explain why phablets are so popular these days. Meanwhile, just 26 per cent prefer a desktop experience, while 14 per cent choose to go at it on their tablets. Poor touchscreens.

Sadly, the UK ain’t doing too well from a gender perspective. While 24 per cent of women around the world watch Pornhub, that figure is only 22 per cent on our shores. In London, the situation is a smidgen better, with 23 per cent of the capital’s women doing their thang along to online filth. [Pornhub]