Happy Prime Day!

By Matt Novak on at

It’s Prime Day everybody! I hope you remembered to set out your MRE (meal ready to eat) and plate of batteries in front of the family robot last night, as is customary on Prime Day Eve. We do this to remember how our ancestors would have to leave their homes, sometimes for several minutes at a time, in search of sustenance for their bellies and energy for their devices.

Remember that you must have set out at least one MRE and at least half a dozen AA batteries. Doubled it if they were AAA batteries. If you didn’t plan ahead, make sure to add both to your Amazon cart right now and Papa Prime will bring them. And you know the drill for next Prime Day!

This really is a season to reflect on everything that we’ve fought for as a people for generations. There was a time when human beings would need to interact with each other rather than merely grunt at the post man as a robotically wrapped package of widgets and gizmos was flung at their door. We must not take the sacrifices of those that came before us for granted. All hail Father Prime. And happy Prime Day. Happy Prime Day to us all!