Surprise, More Russian Athletes Banned From Rio Olympics For Doping

By Bryan Menegus on at

Well everything about Rio keeps getting worse. The Zika-infested city, with it’s shit-laden waters, and beaches rife with human remains will be hosting fewer and fewer athletes, many of whom are backing out for totally understandable reasons. As of today that list of non-competitors now includes the entirety of Russia’s weightlifting team, the AP reports.

Unlike some cyclists who dropped out because of health concerns, the Russians will not be picking up very heavy things abroad because their federation was found to be rampant with doping. The weightlifters join the 110 other Russian athletes who have already been banned, making them the only team receiving a total ban other than the athletics squad, according to the BBC.

Honestly there are just so many compelling reasons to stay as far as possible from Rio, one wonders if some of these Olympians are smuggling tainted piss to their anti-doping checks in order to be excused from participating. [AP]