Massive knives with serrated blades and bits hanging off them like something out of a Final Fantasy nightmare sequence are now illegal in England and Wales, with the government deciding that no one really has a legitimate need to own a decorative lump of metal with a 25-inch blade and a blade over the handle with another blade on the side of it.
The changes comes as part of an update to the Criminal Justice Act 1988, which has outlawed the sale, manufacture, rental and importation of anything deemed to be a bit much for getting stones out of horses' hooves.
Sarah Newton, who has the very modern governmental job title of Minister for Vulnerability, Safeguarding and Countering Extremism, said: "Zombie killer knives glamorise violence and cause devastating damage -- they have no place whatsoever in our society. We committed to banning the sale, manufacture and importation of these dangerous weapons. With the ban now becoming law, we are delivering on our commitment. Anyone caught making or selling zombie knives now faces up to 4 years in prison."