An Australian man who'd rather we didn't know his surname has suffered a spider bite to the penis, with the extraordinary revelation that this isn't the first time it's happened. It's as if he's putting his penis near spiders on purpose, wanting it to happen.
The perfectly reasonable explanation for the bite isn't that he's been putting his penis near spiders on purpose, but that he works on building sites as a tradesman, where portable outdoor toilets are used and are more likely to be infested with creepy crawlies.
Underlining the fact that he definitely wasn't putting his penis near spiders on purpose for a sexual thrill, Jordan explained: "I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time. I was like 'I can't believe it's happened again.' I looked down and I've seen a few little legs come from around the rim." [BBC]