Net Activists Open Support Hotline for the Idiots Who Write Tech Laws

By Hudson Hongo on at

Have you or someone you love been appointed to an important government position, where technology is on the agenda, despite being a total dumbass? If so, Fight for the Future is here to help.

On Tuesday, the net neutrality advocates launched 1 (844) 294-A-CLUE, a free hotline in the US designed explain the intricacies of internet legislation to representatives like Tennessee’s Marsha Blackburn. Appearing on CNN this weekend, the congresswoman demonstrated exactly what kind of idiot controls technology policy in America, answering a question about Friday’s DDoS attacks by mourning the defeat of 2011's Stop Online Piracy Act.

“A few years ago we tried to do a bill called SOPA in the House which required the ISPs to some governance on these networks and to block some of the bad actors,” said Blackburn, referring to the dangerous anti-piracy bill that had nothing to do with denial-of-service. “And of course, there were all of the cyberbots that took out after us that were trying to say ‘no you can’t do that you’re going to impede our free speech.’”

Luckily, Fight for the Future has pledged to save Blackburn’s fellow legislators from similar humiliations.

“When members of Congress talk about ‘cyber bots’ coming after them about free speech, people on the Internet have a hard time taking them seriously,” the group writes on its website. “We started this hotline to help you avoid those cringeworthy moments that could make you famous in a bad way, but more importantly, to get you up to speed on internet security so that you don’t make uninformed decisions about the Internet and our basic rights in the digital age.”

When Gizmodo called the number Tuesday night, we were connected to CTO Jeff Lyon, who explained that jokey-sounding service was also a very real attempt to help both lawmakers and the public better understand the important issues surrounding the internet.

“Congress, help us help you,” writes Fight for the Future. “This phone call could be one of the most important things you do today.”

If only we could get something like it here in the UK, because our politicians clearly don't know a damn thing either.