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It's the Annual John Lewis Christmas Advert Cryalong

By Gary Cutlack on at

The man who thinks he's my boss says I should watch the John Lewis advert and say what it's like and about, as if we don't already know it's some twee rubbish designed to make weak people start eating six packs of mince pies a full seven weeks out from the big day.

The full version is over two minutes long, so will be saved for advert breaks during repeats on niche satellite TV channels, and concerns the story of Buster the Boxer -- one of those dogs with cute messed up faces that's owned by a girl called Bridget. Actually it's her mum and dad that pay for bloody everything and shovel up its poo so it's their dog really, and it's a CG dog, and not real, and we're all going to die, but still.

Better watch it quick, because the RSPCA won't be happy with the way it suggests putting animals on trampolines is fun and is probably petitioning to have it pulled right now:

I didn't cry. But then you could solder my scrotum to the car exhaust pipe and I wouldn't cry these days, such is the way life and tech blogging has left my emotional centres as dead as a Christmas tree on January 14. Or perhaps it's not that sad because the advert is not quite as over-the-top feelgood schmaltzy as the efforts of previous years, as there's not much of a subtext to it. People and animals like going on trampolines is all it has to say about the human condition.

You can buy pretend versions of the dog and a book from John Lewis seeing as that's what it's all about, should you really be into collecting transient brand merchandise that'll mean nothing come December 26. [John Lewis]