We are all overstimulated automatons making our way through the day, just moving from one screen to the next in a sleep-deprived stooper. And even though scientists say it’s the worst idea, many of us can’t sleep without a TV on. That’s where Napflix comes in.
Sure, Netflix itself has invested in the random burning log here or subway commute video there, but Napflix is a fully dedicated snooze machine. Let’s give them the support they need because it’s high time we got on that whole “Slow TV” phenomenon the Norwegians love so much.
To get you started, here are ten boring as hell, gratingly monotonous or just plain slumber-inducing videos ranked in order of how well they will make you go the fuck to sleep.
10. Walking Chicken
Just a chicken walking in Minecraft for an hour. Could be more boring without the jaunty soundtrack, though.
9. Marc Okrand on Klingon
Only boring if you’re not a Star Trek fandom completionist who actually wants to learn Klingon.
8. The History Of Scalextric Part One (1957-1970)
A good option if you want mild boredom that puts you to sleep. Pretty cool model race car sets to look at, glacial pace and snooze-worth talking heads.
7. The Eagle Owl: The Lord of the Night
Nature videos are a classic sleep-aid. You get nice dreams, they’re interesting to watch but not too interesting and what better choice could you go with than nature that lives at night.
6. CURLING: CAN-DEN World Men’s Chp 2016 - Playoff 1 v 2
Three straight hours of curling. And it’s not even the Olympics, just whatever curlers do in the off years.
5. 3 HOURS of Relaxing Aquarium Fish, Coral Reef Fish Tank & Relax Music (1080p HD)
Fish are great.
4. Solemn High Traditional Latin Mass Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, Sacramento (May 5, 2012) HD
Oh god, kill me, Latin Mass.
3. Sheep Breeds - 1954 Agriculture / Educational Film - S88TV1
Everything you could ever want to know about the various breeds of sheep and their place in the sheep market. Bonus points if you count them.
2. 10-hour timer
About as boring as things get. The only thing stopping it from being number 1 is its potential to cause anxiety about how few hours you have left before you have to do it all over again.
1. BBC2 Test Card
Have to go with a classic for the top spot. Nothing says off-the-air and the day is done like a good old test card.