Nerds and geeks, rejoice. It's nearly Christmas, and that can only mean one thing: time to don that Christmas Jumper! Once that might have meant wearing the most awful woolly number with a reindeer on that your Aunt Mildred gifted to you and you just have to wear, god forbid you hurt her feelings over Christmas dinner, but not any more. The rise of the geek means that whatever it is you're into, there's a festive knit just for you.
For the comic book nerd
Nothing quite says "season's greetings" like a brooding superhero who always dresses in black and never smiles. Let's face it: Batman is totally appropriate any day of the year, not least at Christmas, so what other reason could you possibly want for not wearing a Batman-themed jumper? Especially one that implies Santa is Batman… or Batman is Santa. It kind of makes sense if you think about it. Neither of them are seen much in the day time; they're both very secretive about the work they do, and ask yourself this: when have you ever seen Batman and Santa Claus together in the same room? Exactly.
Or perhaps you're more into Marvel than DC and want to display your favourite hero (or anti-hero) proudly against your chest. While you could opt for Flash or Superman, my personal favourite is Deadpool. Those other goody-two-shoes superheroes are just a bit too squeaky clean for my liking. Plus, Deadpool is red, which is the most festive colour you can have, so it's pretty much the comic book equivalent of dressing in a Father Christmas outfit.
Ladies, if you're looking for something a little more feminine, I've got you covered. Harley Quinn's iconic "Daddy's L'il Monster" t-shirt from Suicide Squad has been spruced up with a bit o' festive flair and thus makes the perfect get-up for any family gathering. Just perhaps leave the giant mallet at home; you don't want to give Nan a heart attack.
For the film buff
One of the most Christmassy things about Christmas is lazing back on the sofa, digging your hand into a giant tub of Quality Street and watching a classic festive film. Films don't even have to be about Christmas to make us feel warm and fuzzy inside either; just stick in a scene with a bit of snow and we're all set. Case in point: the idea of an evil wizard trying to take over the world is about as festive as a fart, but shoehorn in a montage with Harry Potter and his friends frolicking around in the snow and suddenly it's the most Christmassy film you've seen since It's a Wonderful Life.
That's why a Harry Potter-themed Christmas jumper is absolutely perfect. I love the house-themed designs, and with Gryffindor's colour being red, donning yourself as a housemate of everybody's favourite boy wizard is as in keeping with the festivities as jolly ol' Saint Nick himself.
A slightly more obscure – although altogether amazing – choice would be a Back to the Future-themed knit, because, you know, what better captures the magic of this time of year than a time-travelling Delorian? My favourite, however, has to be the absolute classic Home Alone jumper. As the one film I just have to watch every year without fail, having the famous line "Merry Christmas ya filthy anima!" emblazoned upon my person seems like the ideal way to celebrate.
For the gamer geek
Have a waka-waka Christmas
Retro gamers, modern gamers, or, er, PlayStation gamers – you're all covered here (sorry, Xbox people). There's an ever-growing amount of Christmassy gamer attire released every year, but Numskull still have the market covered, with their officially licensed (and PlayStation-centric) merchandise. It's hard to compete with the quality of their knits though, and with some epic designs – from Fallout to Street Fighter and even bloody Candy Crush – there's bound to be something to suit. My personal favourite is the festive Sonic the Hedgehog design, because, well, it's Sonic. Blue hedgehogs may not be synonymous with Christmastime, but who's to say that the residents of Green Hill don't partake in joyful wintery festivities every year? (I'm sure there's a pun about eggnog and Dr Robotnik/Eggman around here somewhere…)
For the Sony fanboys amongst us, what better way to wish the world a Merry Christmas by boldly displaying the PlayStation symbols upon your breast? Seriously though, Numskull's designs mix that traditional festive pattern with gaming motifs in such a way that even folks who've never touched a PS4 in their life will still get a kick out of it. Just prepare for your grandparents to ask you what noughts and crosses have to do with Christmas.
And if all else fails, there's always the timeless dot-guzzler that is Pacman. Christmas and nostalgia go together like peas and carrots, and so let this retro circular beast be the symbol of your merriment this season.
For the TV addict
There's so many reasons why Game of Thrones is the ultimate Christmas TV programme. There's Jon Snow, whose very name is the epitome of the festive season; there's the fact that it's always snowing in The North; there's the unforgettable slogan "Winter is coming"; and there's the fact that there's a whole lot of blood, which is red in colour and therefore very Christmassy (okay, I'm grabbing at straws now). Bloody or no, a jumper that says "Winter is Coming" is probably the best way to sum up your love of Game of Thrones and your joy that Winter, and therefore Christmas, is indeed coming.
Perhaps you want something a bit more light-hearted. Perhaps something a bit… Italian. I've just the thing for you: a GINO "SHEFFIELD" D'ACAMPO jumper. There was also a Celebrity Juice-themed jumper with Keith Lemon's face on the front, but having the king of dough balls' name on a Christmas jumper is just so hilariously bizarre that it has to be a winner.
Last but not least is a Christmas jumper remembering those less fortune than ourselves: those of us who have either been turned into zombies or who have to spend their Christmas fighting against zombies (or Negan. I bet Negan doesn't celebrate Christmas, unless smashing a few skulls with Lucille counts as 'celebrating'). Yup, it's a Walking Dead Christmas jumper – it's even less festive than Gino D'acampo but I love it all the same. Just spare a thought for Rick, Darryl and poor Maggie before you tuck into your roast turkey this year.
There you have it: the best Christmas jumpers money can be. Just have a bit of self respect and put off wearing them until at least 1st December, alright?
Remember: 16th December is Christmas Jumper Day, so make sure you're ready to join in the (geeky) festivities before then!