The Hipster Nativity Set Will Make You Feel Seriously Bad For Jesus

By Aatif Sulleyman on at

That’s a man-bunned Joseph in a denim shirt taking a selfie with Jesus and a latte-toting Mary in a stable with a solar-powered roof.

The three wise men all look like they’ve rolled off a 2016 human male conveyor belt, with their shitty, trendy outfits, Amazon packages and segways.

I bet that wanker of a shepherd’s adding the letters IRL to a Twitter update on his stupid electronic thing in that picture. And don’t even get me started on the non-coeliac morons behind the baffling modern war on gluten. I’m currently taking all of my anger out on my spacebar. Sorry, spacebar.

A new company called Modern Nativity is making lots of money from an idea many of us have had at some point, but have never actually done anything about, dragging the story of Jesus’ birth to this awful, awful modern era, where everyone would actually accuse Christ of being an offensive pig because we’re all hypersensitive and have too many regurgitated things to say about everything.

“This product started (as all good products do) at a happy hour with our friends,” founder Casey Wright told Mashable. “After a few beers, we started joking about how religions would be different if their sacred texts were set in modern times.

“We have quickly found out that this product is very polarizing. It’s usually, 'This is hilarious, I need one,' or 'This is sacrilegious, I hope you burn in hell,' and almost nothing in between those two extremes.” Within a week of launch, the company was flogging 500 sets per day.

They’re available here, and will set you back $130 (£104). [Mashable]