Respected by all for their worthy exploits, such as camping outside stores for grossly overpriced electronics, deifying obnoxious men in turtlenecks and refusing to acknowledge the existence of anything untouched by Jony Ive's hand, Apple fanboys are the pillars upon which the technology industry stands, representing everything great about it.
After all they’ve done for us, it’s time to give something back. Here’s the ultimate Christmas gift guide for the Apple fanboys in your life.
There’s nothing like that first whiff of a brand new Mac. Such a glorious bouquet. With hints of mint, peach, basil, lavender, mandarin and sage (no apple), Twelve South’s genius New Mac-scented candle will transport your nostrils to an infinitely happier place and set your loins on fire. It’s out of stock at the time of writing, but the company says it’ll be available again in time for Christmas shoppers.
So clean, so pure, so groundbreaking. The world-changing book we’ve clamoured for for years, Designed by Apple in California simply has to go down as one of Jony Ive’s top 50 greatest creations. Chronicling 20 years of design through 450 eye-wateringly moving photographs of Apple’s products and processes, you’ll have to take great care not to stick those specially milled, custom-dyed pages with gilded matte silver edges together on day one.
Price: From $199
It’s well known that essential new cables, dongles and adapters are byproducts of great innovation, and Apple’s extensive range is the stuff of any gadget lover’s dream. A special mention goes out to the AirPod Strap too. “It just works” is so last year.
Price: Too many different numbers
More of a top tip than a gift, this one’s all about the thought. Strip your favourite Apple fanboy’s Christmas tree bare as a stirring tribute to the one and only Jony Ive. We can’t wait to see what he’s planning to do with Apple’s next-generation office chairs.
The biggest thing to happen to Jesus since the resurrection. Printed on a canvas, it’ll brighten up any room and serve as a constant reminder of what’s truly important in life.
Price: Not much, probably
Add a touch of elegance to all of the tragically non-Apple-branded items you hold dear, such as antique furniture, cars and pets, with these simple to use Apple logo stickers. They’re a fantastic investment too, as they have the power to vastly increase the value of every single thing they touch.
Handmade, Steve Jobs-themed, angular and recyclable, this elegant papercraft Christmas tree ornament ticks all of the boxes. Though it clashes with the Jony Ive vision above, we simply couldn’t leave this off the list.
Price: Paper and ink
It’s unfortunately not designed specifically for Apple products, but the remarkable Cell-Mate will let you broadcast the fact that you’re a proud iPhone owner to the entire world at all times. The iPhone is simply too beautiful to be forced inside ghastly pockets.
One must always look flawless while using an iPhone, Apple Watch or Mac, as Terms and Conditions dictate that all Apple fanboys have a duty to represent the brand in an elite, posturing at all times. A regular pocket mirror would admittedly do the job, but a MacBook pocket mirror is, as the great leader Tim Cook would say, really cool.
For years now, we’ve painstakingly deliberated over whether or not it’s even possible to improve the already perfect Apple Watch. At long last, we’ve decided that it is -- and even then only just -- with this innovative Macintosh-style stand. It’s the watch, completely reimagined.