Hey you, yes, you! Do you enjoy thankless tasks? Can you polish a turd until it shines? Do you have no moral qualms about promoting terrible ideas if the money is right? Then now is your chance to apply for what is almost certainly the most difficult job in the British government:
Head of Communications at the Department for Exiting the European Union (DExEU).
Yep, David Davis' new Brexit department is hiring, because presumably it needs someone who can answer difficult questions from journalists like "What does Brexit actually mean?" and "Isn't this a completely terrible idea?".
But heck, the money is pretty good. If you're willing to be Brexit's human shield, then you could be set to earn anywhere from a tasty £64,000, all the way to £117,800. It's not quite the £350 million per week you might think you deserve for doing it, but then let's face it: That figure was always wildly unrealistic.
We can also assume that the job will come with at least 28 days off every year, with guaranteed holiday pay and maternity rights. At least until we quit anyway, as these rights are all safeguarded by European law.
According to the job description, as Brexit's head spin-doctor, you "will play a crucial role ensuring the cross-government communications approach to areas that are key responsibilities for DExEU are aligned and form a coherent narrative".
This is surely trickier than it sounds, as presumably posting either gifs of dumpster fires or the "this is fine" dog don't count as a "coherent narrative".
If you'd like to apply, and you're a masochist, you can find full details here.