We all know the Easter story, right? At a Last Supper that consisted of Kraft(tm) Mac & Cheese, Jesus was betrayed by Judas in exchange for a Double Decker and a Freddo (which, back in Jesus's day were still only 10p). Jesus was then crucified by the Romans (who, let's not forget, counted Mars as one of their gods). But, shock! It turns out that Jesus came back from the dead briefly, before ascending to a cushy job at his dad's work. Perhaps most crucially, to celebrate Jesus's resurrection, all of the disciples celebrated by eating chocolate eggs.
So given this, you can perhaps understand why Archbishop of York John Sentamu is so angry about the chocolate firm taking the Christ out of Chreaster.
The Telegraph reports that this year instead of the traditional Cadbury "Easter Egg Hunt", the company is instead running a "Great British Egg Hunt".
Citing company founder John Cadbury's Quaker faith Sentamu told the Telegraph that "To drop Easter from Cadbury’s Easter Egg Hunt in my book is tantamount to spitting on the grave of Cadbury". This perhaps sounds a bit overblown until you consider that the colour of our passports is currently a heated debate in British cultural life. Also, as Sentamu points out John Cadbury was a Quaker - and, umm, Quakers don't traditionally celebrate Easter.
Easter Egg Hunt is being run in conjunction with the National Trust at over 250 of the organisation's properties. 350,000 people are expected to attend this year. Frankly, its hard to think of something more offensive that the National Trust could take part in. In fact, they may as well have gone full-throated in their anti-religious posture and, say, created an artwork depicting Jesus - Christianity's number one guy - not looking happy or powerful, but hanging from the crucifix on which he died. How would the Church have liked that?
As an amusing aside, when we first accessed the Telegraph article, an advert appeared in the middle of it for Cadbury's, featuring a gay couple:
Of course, whatever happens next year is going to be even more of a nightmare for Cadbury: They'll have to choose between upsetting the Church again, or if they revert the name back they'll have to drop "Great Britain", which will no doubt infuriate the Brexiteers instead. So let us Pray for Cadbury. [Telegraph]